Good News Week

Love You Leung Time (Good News Week 16/3/09: Strange But True)

A 12-year-old Hong Kong schoolboy posted naked pictures of himself online and offered to be a prostitute to females between the ages of 10 and 45. He just knows that female paedophile market remains mostly untapped.

The boy, calling himself Little Leung, described himself as a Christian and offered to make love for $144. Unfortunately, most 12 year old boys would still be willing to do it for nothing. / When I was that age, I’d’ve done it for free! / That’s just $144 more than the average 12 year old.

A 12-year-old Hong Kong student has offered to have sex with older women for 144 dollars. I wish I’d thought of that.

Already he’s been approached over 100 times, but unfortunately they’ve mostly been Michael Jackson.

And, after they have sex, he’s keen to show her his Pokemon collection.

A 12-year-old Hong Kong student has offered to have sex with older women for 144 dollars. Or 500 if you want to see his Pokemon.

Little Leung said he was a Christian. Just in case you thought he was, y’know, a godless whore.

Little Leung described himself as a Christian, which explains it.

Little Leung described himself as a Christian, but said the priests just didn’t do it for him. / but that he was bored with priests.

Little Leung described himself as a Christian. After all, didn’t Christ himself befriend the prostitutes, and charge about 144 bucks an hour? I think he did.

Little Leung said he was a Christian. And now that his prostitution ploy’s been rumbled, he’s thinking of turning Catholic.

$144 may seem a bit steep, but then you’re paying for his experience. / inexperience.

$144 may seem a bit steep, but you pay extra for that childish innocence.

Of course, if a girl wants to have sex with a 12 year old boy, they probably don’t have to spend money. / they need only ask.

He called himself Little Leung, and offered to “Love You Leung Time”.

He may be Little Leung, but he’s got a Leung Schleung.

He’ll make love to you all night long, provided it’s before bedtime. / before he has to go nigh nighs. / get into his jimjams. / get changed into his jimjams, brush his toothypegs and go nigh nighs.

He’s a sex fiend. You should see his hot jimmyjams.

He loves dirty-talk. “Let me put my peepee in your wahwah…”

He made an online appeal to his headmaster not to expel him, once he’d been exposed. So to speak. / Though to be any more exposed would require removing the skin.

Once he was caught out, his principal said he’d be expelled, unless he showed her a good time.

Of course, the best thing about getting it on with a 12 year old is you never get pubes stuck in your teeth.

His headmaster agreed not to expel him, provided he offered him a discount.

It’s getting so hard to avoid being a paedophile these days, with 12 year old boys just throwing themselves at you.

Sure he’s inexperienced, but he makes up for it with enthusiasm. And afterwards you can play with his train set.

He was desperate for money. And sex. It really seemed a flawless solution.

So be careful online. That dirty old pervert might actually turn out to be a 12 year old boy.

He didn’t want to get into prostitution. But they wouldn’t pay him at the sperm bank.

He says he wouldn’t have gotten into prostitution, except he was having no luck flogging his used tissues.

“Little Leung” seems like a poor choice of name to attract the ladies. But it was better than his original name “Leung Not Hung”.

He says he wasn’t keen at first, but his parents really needed the cash.

By Wok

Warwick Holt is a highly experienced, award-winning screenwriter, who has written for many of Australia’s top comedians and presenters, and the Emperor of this here Media Empire.

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