Strip down to your strip (Good News Week 23/3/09: Strange But True)

A British survey as revealed that more men would prefer to see their girlfriends in bed in their football team’s colours than in lingerie. They also love their girls to wave flags when they cum. / to spray them with champagne when they cum.

And nothing gets them hornier than a Mexican wave. / And their favourite sexual position is the Mexican wave.

And if you really want to spice up your sex life, use a half-time siren.

A British survey as revealed that more men would prefer to see their girlfriends wearing their football team’s colours than in sexy lingerie. And every now and then they’d like them to take it in the ump. / like them to dress like the ump. / like them to blow a little whistle. / like to be given a yellow card.

A British survey as revealed that more men would prefer to see their girlfriends wearing their football team’s colours than in sexy lingerie. Although, every now and then they prefer them naked – that way they can pretend they’re a streaker.

And they really love it when their partner takes it off-side. / gives them a foul. / gives them a foul ball. / takes it in the net. / takes a ball at the back of the net. / gives them a header.

And they love landing their balls in the back of her net.

Though generally blokes aren’t so keen on a kick at their goalies.

Though girls wearing another team’s gear? Instant soft-on.

But it’s not just any old football outfit. It needs to be sweaty and filthy. Like the sex.

34% of the Brits surveyed want their girls in their footy strip, 23% prefer sexy underwear, 20% prefer naked, and 16% love role play outfits. Like, say, the opposition’s gear. / For instance, dressed as a referee.

So when men say they like strippers, they actually want them to dress in the strip. / So it turns out the most successful strippers will be the ones who leave on their strip.

According to a new survey, most men would rather see their partners in team colours than in hot negligee. These men are what we call “meatheads”. / “losers”. / “softcocks”. / “arsetards”. / “impotent.” / “having an affair”.

According to a new survey, most men would rather see their partners in team colours than in hot negligee. When they’re making love, they like to fantasise it’s their favourite footy player.

They only want to see lingerie on footy stars. / Lacy brassieres should be left for the rippling biceps of sportsmen. / Negligee should be left for Sam Newman.

The lingerie industry has vowed to strike back, but is not sure whether to release a range of sports outfits or just dress footballers in teddies and suspenders.

No wonder so many Brits are hot for Posh. She’s always next to Becks. / They’re vicariously sleeping with Beckham.

A new British survey shows most men would rather see their partners in team colours than in hot negligee. They just want their girls to bang them like Beckham. / bend it like Beckham.

According to a new survey, most men would rather see their partners in team colours than in hot negligee. And, to tell the truth, they’d rather be banging Koutoufides.

According to a new survey, most men would rather see their partners in team colours than in hot negligee. But if you really want to turn them on, get yourself a siren and dress in pigskin.

According to a new survey, most men would rather see their partners in team colours than in hot negligee. And most women would like their partners to grow up. / get over it.

Aussie rules fans are also keen on having girlfriends dress up in footy gear. And there’s nothing they like better than a screamer.

Some blokes are particularly keen for girls who are up for Arsenal. No matter who they support.

Supporters of different clubs have different tastes – for instance fans of Tottenham Hotspurs find them hot in spurs, fans of Manchester City like chests and titty, and fans of Arsenal have no stated preference.

The predilection for soccer gear even extends to blokes who aren’t fans. They tend to go for refs.

A similar survey has found that most women would like men to dress like characters out of Jane Austen.

Some women say they’re happy to wear the football jersey so long as the bloke dresses up as Mr Darcy.

A similar survey has found that most women would like it if their men could just last a full minute. / root without farting. / learn that cracking open a tinnie doesn’t count as foreplay. / learn that turning on the footy show doesn’t count as foreplay.

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