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Saddam Museum (Good News Week 20/4/09: Strange But True)

The Iraqi Government plans to open a museum filled with Saddam Hussein’s weapons, statues, paintings, furniture and artefacts. It’s a full Saddamarama!

Because after 34 years of tyrannical rule, the Iraqis have been absolutely itching for a celebratory museum.

At last, a decent justification for the invasion.

You ought to see the Weapons of Mass Destruction exhibit. Unfortunately you can’t.

Unfortunately they seem to have misplaced the Weapons of Mass Destruction exhibit.

The museum is filled with all of Saddam’s old weapons. The ones that existed, anyway.

The museum is filled with all of Saddam’s weapons. Though you’ll be lucky to find them, even with a team of UN inspectors.

There’s a great exhibit where you get to watch Saddam’s old movies of prisoners being raped by dogs! Ah the fun.

There’s a great exhibit where you get to gas your own people! (Of course, it’s BYO people.)

The museum’s bound to be a great attraction for anyone keen on a career as a brutal despot.

They’re saying the museum will become a major tourist attraction. Assuming anyone comes to Iraq by choice ever again. / You know, assuming it’s not blown up. / Assuming the war ends one day.

The Iraqi Prime Minister said he was looking forward to having all of Saddam’s material returned. He just doesn’t feel like a proper Iraqi leader without the solid gold AK-AKs.

The US military are handing back all the old regime’s old stuff. They’re just backing up a big truck, and tipping out a huge pile of rubble and body parts.

Looks like the last five years hasn’t all been a waste. Sure, the Coalition might not have been able to bring peace, and have blown apart a hell of a lot of innocent civilians, but at least they can set up a novelty museum. / they can leave the Iraqi people a themed souvenir shop.

The US military are handing back all of Saddam’s captured gear to the Iraqi Government. All they’re keeping is the oil.

They had a great opening night planned for the museum, but unfortunately it bombed.

Highlights include his gold machine guns, commissioned portraits, and a real working torture dungeon!

The real pity is that Saddam never lived to see his life commemorated. / If only Saddam were around to see it.

At long last you too can experience life as Saddam lived it, although you do end up getting hanged in the souvenir shop.

The museum will feature a perfect recreation of Saddam’s palace, where a simulated brutal despot will recreate a replica living hell. Who wouldn’t pay money for that?

Unfortunately the head of the museum is already getting some ideas about expanding his territory…

At last there’ll be some decent work for Saddam’s body doubles.

And they’re also thinking of turning Abu Ghraib into an abuseum.

The souvenir shop stocks replica gold AK-47s, a set of the US government’s Iraqi leader playing cards and a bearded Saddam you can hang from your rear-view mirror. / a little bobble-headed Saddam for the dashboard of your Hummer.

It’s good to have a celebration of all the good that the Coalition of the Willing have achieved. And appropriately the museum is being built out of the bones of civilian casualties.

The museum features a special interactive section where you can try to pick out the remains of your relatives.

The attached souvenir shop is a great place to shop and awe.

The US military says that by putting all of Saddam’s treasures in a museum it should make them much easier to hit next time.

George Dubya Bush wasn’t pleased. When’s he gettin’ a moo-ze-um?

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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