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You’re right, it’s Mel Gibson (GNW 4/5/09: Warren)

Mel Gibson, the man whose wife is divorcing him because he’s already impregnated his new girlfriend. Although he says it was the Jews.

Mel Gibson, the man whose wife is divorcing him because he’s already impregnated his new girlfriend. Although he says it was actually the Lord.

Mel’s asked bishops to pray for him because he’s going through “a bad time”. And he knows all about bad times, as would you if you’ve sat through the “Passion”. / And he knows all about bad times; he’s watched “The Passion of the Christ” more than anyone.

Mel’s asked bishops to pray for him because he’s going through “a bad time”. Although not as bad a time as that bloke “in the Passion of the Christ”.

Mel’s asked bishops to pray for him because he’s going through “a bad time”. Already the lawyers are getting out their scourges, organising an execution, and whipping up a crown of thorns.

Mel’s asked bishops to pray for him because he’s going through “a bad time” – although, of course, it’s the kind of “bad time” only a billionaire can have. The rest of us would call it a luxury holiday.

Mel’s asked bishops to pray for him because he’s going through “a bad time”. Why hath the Lord forsaken Mel? Ist is because he planteth his seed in the wombeth of his mistreth?

Mel Gibson, who these days makes the character who brought him fame look like “Moderate Max”.

Mel Gibson, who’s decided to sort out his divorce woes in the Thunderdome.

Mel Gibson. Luckily, we don’t need another hero. Coz we sure aint got one.

Mel Gibson, who’s redefined “fundamentalist Catholic” to include “extra-marital pregnancy”.

Mel Gibson, the man who’s proven that building your own church and releasing a three-hour Passion in Aramaic is no reason not to knock someone up on the side.

Mel Gibson, the man who’ll keep building churches if you keep supplying that blood of Christ.

Mel Gibson, who likes nothing more than three hours on the blood of Christ and then knocking up a virgin.

Mel Gibson, who’s confirmed that he’s dating Oksana Grigorieva, after confirming once and for all that she wasn’t a Jew.

Mel Gibson, who’s finally discovered what women want. In his wife’s case, over half a billion dollars.

Mel Gibson, who’s asked bishops to pray for him, as he really doesn’t have the time for that at the moment.

Mel has asked bishops to pray for him as he’s going through a “bad time”. It’s his own personal Apocalypto.

Mel has asked bishops to pray for him as he’s going through a “bad time”, with his divorce threatening to lose him half of his billion dollar fortune. Oh Mel. I’m weeping tears of blood.

Mel has asked bishops to pray for him as he’s going through a “bad time”, with his divorce threatening to lose him half of his billion dollar fortune. To all intents and purposes, just like a crucifixion. / Fortunately he’s being divorced for our sins.

Mel Gibson, who’s asked bishops to pray for him, and has promised to smear a few Jews in return.

Mel Gibson – he’s not an anti-semite, he’s a jew-hater.

Mel Gibson – he doesn’t hate all Jews, just the ones who rule the world with their money-grubbing god-hating conspiracy of blood-thirsty evil.

And like all catholics, he believes marriage is for life. Just not HIS life.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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