I Q for love (GNW 18/5/09: Giving Headline)

A networking and dating web site has been set up for people who have IQs in the top 15% of the population. Well, duh. / Anyone could’ve thought of that.

Because your best bet for a wild and passionate love-affair is hooking up with a bunch of people who can play Scrabble in their heads. / can remember Pi up to a hundred decimal places.

Not only are they lonely brainiacs, but they’re lonely brainiacs using the internet! Oh the fiery passion!

Of course, not all braniacs are nerds. Just the ones searching for love on the internet.

It’s easier to find love on the internet for a lovelorn nerd. There’s no talking at the library.

The perfect night out – lying on the grass together, gazing at the stars, trying to calculate the distance of each by their relative doppler red shifts.

The perfect night out – holding hands and watching the sun set, enjoying how the refraction of light in the atmosphere distorts the ray path of the sun near the horizon, making the apparent astronomical sunset occur when the sun’s disk is actually already about one diameter below the horizon. Ahhh.

It’s perfect for intelligent people who don’t want to accidentally date “the normals”.

Catering to lovelorn geeks on the internet? What is this, 1990? / Would’ve been a great idea two decades ago.

Of the 100,000 that have applied to be on the site, only 13% have qualified as having IQs in the top 15% of the population. There’s something wrong there. And if you don’t know what, don’t try applying to join. / Proof that it’s mostly the stupid who want to prove how smart they are.

At last, nerds can be judged by the size of their brains rather than their more visible assets.

It’s a great way of ensuring you meet someone with commensurate intelligence and snobbery.

And it’s so much cheaper than going to a top Uni!

Site founder Trine Jensen said she thinks users use the site as much for social networking as they do for dating, as many of them are scared of their genitals.

You do have to enter some of your personal details, like age, location, and whether you prefer integral or differential calculus. / whether you prefer biochemistry or chemical biology.

People join up for friendship, discussion, and the chance of pairing their sex organs with a likeminded partner in a suitable social setting for purposes of mutual pleasure. Ooh, is it hot in here?

The site was the brainchild of Dexter, the Perfect Match robot.

The site only allows contact between people who are 100% compatible, which thus far has been no-one. But they’re hopeful!

The site only allows contact between people who are 100% compatible, which so far has only happened once, between a guy who accidentally registered twice, and himself.

The site doesn’t have a lot of members yet, but there have been a lot of wallflowers. / but they say they have had a lot of people standing around the perimeter looking awkward.

More than 100 000 people have tried to join, but only 13 000 have been smart enough. And most of them were just smart enough to know how to hack their way in.

Only 60 of the 13 000 potentials have been from Australia. But well, to be honest, how many do you expect from a country that had to invent thongs because shoelaces were just too difficult? / that thinks it’s the height of intellectualism to drink wine instead of beer? / that thinks Kant is an insult?

Another networking and dating site has been set up for people who have IQs in the top 1% of the population. But you’ll have to work out how to join by yourself… / And, if you’re that smart, you’ll already know how to join.

Those who fail the IQ test are sent off to another web site, where they can hang out with the other idiots. / with other mental pygmies.

Another website has been set up for the bottom 15% of IQs, but it’s been less successful as members keep bashing their mouse through the screen. / kept breaking their screens when they tried to kiss each other. / covered their screens in saliva trying to pash one another.

Another website has been set up for the bottom 15% of IQs, but is struggling because its potential members can’t work out how to plug the TV into the typewriter.

Another website has been set up for the bottom 15% of IQs, but is struggling because all its potential members are already finding partners while rooting around in their own shit.

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