Surf Roo (GNW 18/5/09: What’s the Story?)

Gold Coast man has rescued a kangaroo caught in a surf-rip. Lucky he caught him, or the kanga was rooted.

The roo was just wanting to hang six.

He would’ve rescued it straight away, but he had to go home to get his surfboard, his video camera, and the contact number for Today Tonight.

Of course, the sad truth is that he was only rescuing the creature to appear on television. The same reason he chucked it in.

He says he’s never seen a roo near the beach before, only bush turkeys. Although that’s not very flattering to the local girls is it.

He’s calling the creature “Ted”. Because if he hadn’t saved it, it would’ve been roo Ted.

Not a bad catch!

Though as it was a juvenile roo, he had to kiss it and throw it back.

When he tried to rescue it, he says “it shook me off like a wild animal”. Yes, well, that’d be because it IS a wild animal.

He says he’s never seen a roo near the beach before, only bush turkeys and a koala. Barely worth rescuing, really.

The kangaroo had gotten caught in a rip. It was a rip-rooter.

Proof that Skippy was wise to stick to outback rather than surf rescue.

The juvenile roo bounded across his path, dove into the surf and started swimming out to sea. His strokes were pretty meagre, but what a kick!

He doesn’t normally rescue drowning roos at the beach. He normally just chucks them in.

It’s the best way to appear on Today Tonight. His other option was to become a dodgy mechanic, evict some old people, or develop a radical new weight loss technique.

The roo was very frightened by the time he got to it. After all, it’d been floundering around for ages while he organised the exclusive rights to the footage.

I know if I was a kangaroo on the Gold Coast, I’d try to swim to freedom as well.

It was a juvenile roo, and was just swimming out as a dare for kangaroo schoolies week.

Kangaroos should make great surfers – they bring their own tail fin.

He knew he had to get the roo out of those shark-infested waters. Otherwise the sharks could get a nasty kick.

He’d seen hammerhead sharks in the same area in recent days. What a spoilsport! Hammerhead versus kangaroo, who wouldn’t want to see that? / now THAT would be worth videoing.

It raises the question: who would win between a shark and a roo? I guess now we’ll never know.

He says there were two hammerhead sharks seen around the area days before he saw the roo. But he didn’t dive in to rescue them, did he. Pff. He’s a total fishist. / Pff. Racist.

He got the roo as far as a sandbar, where it bounded away as soon as it was able. It hates Today Tonight.

Today Tonight did track down the roo with some tough questions – not only has it been completely thankless, it’s also apparently refusing to take perfectly good jobs on offer.

When will kangaroos learn, swim between the flags!

Neil McCallum wrestled the kangaroo onto his surfboard, though the roo struggled with him. He was hoping to get a lift with a yacht.

This was bound to happen when yachts insist on flying boxing kangaroos.

The roo should’ve been rescued by a dolphin. It would’ve been great to see Skippy saved by Flipper!

He’s never rescued a roo before. Normally he just rescues fish and seashells.

When he tried to drag it back to shore, the roo kicked and tried to get free. Just like all the surfers and swimmers he lugs back to shore! Why is it no-one wants to be rescued these days?

Today Tonight paid for the exclusive footage, although McCallum did have to face some tricky questions about his dodgy real estate scheme.

Neil McCallum runs seminars on “The 7 Secrets of a Million-Dollar Salon”, which includes a chapter on how to get yourself mentioned on television without paying a cent! / getting yourself on current affairs shows appearing humanitarian.

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