Dog survives shark frenzy (GNW 15/6/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

A dog is a lucky survivor after attacking a pack of bronze whaler sharks in the middle of a feeding frenzy. But really, look at him, he’s all skin and bone.

The sharks were acting a bit jumpy. In fact, they were so jumpy you could carve them.

Ah, sharks. So chumpy you can carve them. / The Goodos of the sea.

Now this IS news. “EXTRA: Dog Doesn’t Get Attacked By Sharks!”

The German short-haired pointer-hungarian vizsla-cross was probably saved because the sharks didn’t know what the hell he was.

But really, it’s the owner’s fault for trying to scare the sharks away by throwing a stick at them.

The sharks were going to keep toying with the dog until they could entice that nice juicy owner to come out.

But from the point of view of a gang of sharks, a skinny dog is best used as human bait.

“Gus the wonder dog” is certainly very lucky. Lucky he didn’t get pulled under by his cape.

Gus attempted to round up at least six 2-metre-long sharks in the middle of a feeding frenzy. (Scooby voice) “Rhow! Rhiant Rhooby Rhacks rhith rheeth!”

Gus repeatedly had a go at the pack of 2-metre-long sharks in the middle of a feeding frenzy, then when pulled back to safety, had another go at them. Now those are some tasty looking Meaty Bites. / Sounds like someone’s a bit tired of Goodos.

Honestly, if a dog thinks it’s a good idea to round up half-a-dozen sharks, it might be time to let natural selection take its course. / to upgrade to a smarter model.

It was particularly scary – they were feeding on dogfish.

Sure, we laugh at the dog – but YOU do that. Ya freakin wuss. / That’s right – compared to Gus, you’re a PANSY.

Gus was surprised to discover they were sharks. He’d just assumed they were particularly feisty water-sheep.

It was actually all part of the dog’s plan. Once he’d rounded up the sharks he was then going to herd them onto the beach, roll them in batter, and cook them in the noonday sun.

But he wasn’t trying to eat the sharks – he just wanted to scare them away. Those were HIS damn fish. / He wanted to have his OWN feeding frenzy.

Gus’ owner was forced to wade out to give his dog a hand. There was no way he’d be able to round all those sharks up unassisted.

The dog’s owner was in a real bind. He wanted to go out and give his dog a hand, but he didn’t want to go out and give the sharks one.

Sure, to us they were big scary sharks, but the dog just saw giant unbattered flake.

The dog was lucky. With sharks, their bite is much worse than his bark.

Turns out the dog wasn’t actually trying to chase the sharks – it was just trying to do itself in.

The dog was just hard of hearing. His owner had actually said “Let’s go play fetch in the park”…

It’s not surprising that Gus survived – who wouldn’t prefer fish to dog meat?

There’s no meat on that dog anyway! If they DID attack the scrawny mutt, it’d only be to use it as a toothpick.

It’s the man’s fault. He told the dog to “play dead”.

The sharks were actually really scared. It’s a little known fact that the scariest movie in the shark world is “German Short-Haired Pointer-Hungarian Vizsla-Cross”! Derr-duh, derr-duh…

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