Getaway Cruise (GNW 6/7/09: Strange But True)

In Britain, a gang of jewellery robbers have been caught by police when their getaway driver refused to break the speed limit. He may be a jewel thief, but he’s no criminal!

Looks like their hold up was held up.

Armed robbery is one thing, but speed kills.

For his safe driving, he got 5 years behind bars. But he thinks he can make it last 10.

It turns out he’s not safety-conscious at all. He’d just left the handbrake on.

Of course, it’s still better than his original plan of robbing the jewellers, and then taking a leisurely getaway stroll.

The gang had stolen $120,000 worth of gems, and the driver said they could’ve avoided the whole pursuit thing, if only the store had asked for them back.

After a 30 minute pursuit, the robbers were arrested. They would have been caught even more quickly if the cops didn’t also want to stay under the limit. / except the cops got caught at a red light.

After a 30 minute pursuit, the robbers were arrested. And it would’ve taken even less time if the cops hadn’t been on foot.

Proof that no matter how much all you cool guys want to do the robbery – never let the nerd drive.

He didn’t want to get a ticket – those council fines are notoriously hard to pay for with stolen gems.

The thieves were stuck in the getaway car, but they just wished they could get away.

The main problem was that the driver thought they just called it a getaway car because it looked like Catriona Rowntree.

The other thieves just wished they could get away. Perhaps using some form of car.

Next robbery they do, they’re going to make sure that the driver feels free to speed, and if he’s pulled over, they’ll have another car at the ready.

He thought that the police wouldn’t pull over someone who’s obeying the law.

If he was going to be put away for robbery, he didn’t want to be done for speeding as well!

He’s surprised they were caught – he assumed that the police would obey the laws too. / would obey the laws they’re paid to enforce.

In the robbery itself, he was the one yelling at the shopkeeper to “give us the diamonds, but take your time!” / “give us the diamonds NOW, or whenever suits, it’s no trouble, really”.

He’s been dubbed the “Catch me if you can… oh you did” thief.

“Oh, is that why it’s called a getaway car?” / He hadn’t realised they were called getaway cars for a reason.

If they’d really wanted to get away they should’ve gotten him pissed first.

Obeying the speed limit was one thing, but what really slowed him down was having to put a balaclava on before every red light camera.

Though he really is your first choice if you’re looking for an amble-away driver.

The other thieves almost just seized the wheel from him. But that’s against the law, isn’t it?

I mean, what is the point of a life of crime if you can’t properly take in the scenery?

The thieves were also slowed down by having to run a block to the car. But he didn’t want to park in a loading zone. / But he didn’t want to double park.

He now has plans for a cunning jailbreak – he’s going to wait until he’s served his sentence, then BAM, he’s outta there!

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