The Government continues to ask the public for any ideas on where they should cut funding. I’m thinking we cut a bit more from Government wages, seeing as we’re doing all the work! They’re calling on voters to get involved in the decision-making. Of course, you don’t get paid. And you don’t get to sit […]
Month: June 2008
Well waddya know. Australia is proud home to the earliest known animal that had sex, a 375 million year old shark-like creature. That’s right, ancient Aussie fish were makin’ whoopee. Although, underwater, it’s more like “whblooblpeebl”. The 375 million year old fossil shows a fish with an embryo and umbilical cord attached. Not only does […]
The Pope’s chief bodyguard has been in Sydney, checking out sites for the Pope’s World Youth Day appearances. The Pope needs a bodyguard – it’s not like he can rely on protection from God. He’s the only bodyguard with an earpiece to God. He prays by earpiece. He’s head of an organisation of burly gents […]
Hungover Japanese workers are turning to an intravenous drip to get them through the workday. It costs as little as 20 bucks for an intravenous pick-me-up, and in fact it’s also the cheapest way to get drunk the night before. Nothing says “hard worker” better than trackmarks. / bruised veins. The Japanese are famous for […]
Islamic women are demanding equal opportunities to become suicide bombers and terrorists, after an al-Qaida leader said they should focus on being housewives. As one said, “If I have to do another load of washing, I’m going to explode!” Osama bin Laden’s right-hand man Ayman al-Zawahiri praised the wives of al-Qaida terrorists, but said their […]
A British research team has discovered a way to overcome baldness by cloning your remaining hair. The technique can also be used to raise a hair army should you have need of one. Now that’s a hair-raising scheme. Their first subject worked wonderfully – he came to a small amount of fame starring on the […]
Embattled British PM Grodon Brown is being remade as a Marvel comic book hero! Look up in the sky? Is it a lame duck? Is it a plain old politician? No, it’s SoonToBeSackedMan! With a name like Gordon Brown, excitement is sure to be just around the corner! / how could he not be a […]
A leading Australian aviation medicine specialist researching what to do with people who die onboard has recommended strapping them in, putting an eye mask over their eyes, earphones on their head and a blanket on them and leaving them to it. Unless it’s the pilot. A leading Australian aviation medicine specialist says that people who […]
A new American documentary sheds light on over 500 people who like to have sex with cars. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – so long as the car is consenting. Not surprisingly, techniques vary widely. Some like to use the exhaust pipe, some the petrol cap, while others aren’t satisfied with anything less […]
Tues, June 17 The organisers of Brisbane Institute’s “Does Money = Happiness?” lecture will be said to be very happy with their takings. The “Does Money = Happiness?” lecture at the Brisbane Institute will kick off with a paper on “Famous Stockbroker Suicides”. / a paper called “‘The Great Depression’ Was Actually Heaps Of Fun.” […]