It’s about time everyone laid off Kyle. Talk about a persecuted minority! (There’s only one of him!) How was he to know? In his house, making light of underage rape is just a bit of innocent fun! He really just had no idea other people would think he was being offensive. I mean, who DOESN’T […]
Category: Good News Week
Tuesday, November 24 Robbie Williams will start his promotional tour. Robbie who? See, that’s why he needs a promotional tour. Robbie Williams will start his promotional tour. I loved him as Mork. Nanu Nanu! Robbie Williams will start his promotional tour. If enough people still remember him, he’ll think about doing a tour containing, you […]
The true eco-menace has been revealed – cats and dogs. A pet dog has an eco-pawprint double that of the average Land Cruiser. And you don’t have to pick up a Land Cruiser’s droppings. Of course, this idea isn’t new. You’d already know that dogs are toxic if you’ve ever smelt one fart. But dogs […]
The FBI have introduced a page on their website for kids! Unfortunately it’s not a secure site. I guess catching bin Laden was getting a bit hard. But at least now they can colour him in! You can learn about how the FBI works, how they take evidence, and all sorts of exciting things about […]
The US claims that al-Qaida is facing a financial crisis. Aren’t we all. / If only we weren’t facing one at the same time. / Which is lucky, otherwise with the West’s financial crisis we wouldn’t stand a chance. The US claims that al-Qaida is facing a financial crisis. So now they’re ALL living in […]
The Australian Olympic Committee has expressed frustration at the delay in response to its huge additional funding request. If they were in charge, it would be swifter, higher, richer! If an Olympics were held this year, Australia would slip to seventh on the medal tally. Seventh! We may as well just swallow hemlock. / We […]
Hooray! In just three years we could all be staying at a new luxury resort – in space! Well, I say luxury, but you still have to have your lobster thermidor sucked through a straw. The Galactic Space Suite Resort will cost $4.4 million for a three-night stay. And you’ll have to tip the valet […]
A dating website is rejecting almost 80% of applicants because they aren’t deemed attractive enough. At last, a dating site that is superficial on your behalf! The site’s been called “superficial” by critics, who are undoubtedly ugly. / especially those who’ve been rejected. So there you go. Even beautiful people are turning into nerds. The […]
In Chicago, a pair of would-be burglars apprehended by police were found to have disguised their faces with a black permanent marker. They were marked bandits. That permanent marker is going on their permanent records. / This is going on their permanent record, in permanent texta. The pair refused to wear stockings over their heads. […]
A hedgehog has been found rolling around in an orchard, squealing loudly, after getting drunk on fermented apples. Looks like he went the whole hog. If you’ve ever been drunk and covered in spines, you’ll know what the problem is. A team of animal rescuers saved the hedgehog, despite its drunken pleas. / drunken pleas […]