It’s been one year since the beginning of the global financial crisis. If only we could afford to buy it a cake. Happy birthday to you You make me feel blue Daddy jumped from a window Think I just might too. What do you get a one-year old global financial crisis for its birthday? It’s […]
Month: September 2009
Australian captain Ricky Ponting has retired from international Twenty-20 cricket, in a bid to extend his test career. Yes, that’s right – to improve his skills at cricket, he’s going to do much less of it. / going to play it less often. Australian captain Ricky Ponting has retired from international Twenty-20 cricket, in a […]
Hawthorn President Jeff Kennett has said he hopes that the Hawks will be the first AFL club to field a female player. But women’s groups say it’s unlikely that the first women players would play for Hawthorn. Brown and gold, are you kidding? / No girl would be seen dead in the “poos and wees”. […]
Welsh authorities have produced a sickening video about the deadly consequences of texting while driving. So let that be a warning: if you keep text-driving, you stand a real chance of being forced to watch a video like this again. You should see the video that they’re preparing to stop people axe-murdering! / stop gang-rape! […]
Liberal Senator Judith Troeth caused more dissent amongst the Coalition by crossing the floor to vote to abolish charging asylum seekers for their own detention. She’s been shunned in the Liberal party room, where she’s being forced to stay in the “barbed section”. Liberal Senator Judith Troeth crossed the floor to show her support for […]
September 17th has been declared National Singles Day, the perfect day to send yourself flowers, buy yourself choccies, spend the night masturbating, and cry yourself to sleep. September 17th has been declared National Singles Day, so send yourself flowers, buy yourself choccies or treat yourself to a night alone with just the one of you. […]
European criminals are going one step further than simply skimming ATM card details – they’re building fake ATMs, some of which even give out real money. And if you suspect them of being criminals, they’ll just give you more money. ATMs are being constructed in and around shopping centres by master organised crime groups known […]
An American shoplifter is behind bars after being caught on camera smuggling a 24-can slab of beer between her thighs. But the joke’s on the authorities. They still haven’t found the second slab. / still haven’t found where she hid the second slab. And you should see where she hid the longnecks. She would have […]
A Romanian woman presented at hospital with burns, two black eyes and a broken cheek bone while her husband had an almost bitten off penis. Those Romanians sure know how to party. The woman was giving her husband a blow-job while he was cooking pancakes. I suppose if that’s what it takes to get the […]
A Japanese café is offering stressed customers the opportunity to cuddle up to a rabbit. Unfortunately, the café only serves carrots. The Usagi-to Café also features rabbit decor, rabbit-shaped toys, dishes moulded to look like rabbits, and tiny little customer-hutches. Girls love to go and pat the fluffy bunnies, guys love to go and perv […]