Good News Week

MP Sin-Bin (GNW 9/11/09: monologue)

Queensland MPs who misbehave now face up to an hour in the “sin bin”. Sounds like their wettest dreams come true.

I always thought the “sin-bin” was where they stashed the coke when Kevin walks in.

I preferred it in the old days, when you could give politicians the cane. / Pah – I wanna see them get the strap!

The naughty-chair will also be used for MPs who tease other politicians at playlunch.

They’re calling it a sin-bin. Yeah, that’ll discourage them – if there’s one thing a politician hates, it’s being forced to sin. / it’s spending time in a place of sin.

Pollies who misbehave will be forced to spend time in the sin-bin for an hour. Only one hour? You can barely get any decent sinning done in one hour.

Pollies who misbehave will be forced to spend time alone in the sin-bin. Which is perfect – politicians prefer doing their sinning alone.

Politicians don’t have to write lines when they’re in the naughty-corner, but it’s perfect time to snort a few. / but it’s perfect place to snort a few.

Of course, a better penalty would be to force them to sit through question-time. / force them to stay in the chamber. / force them to actually listen to each other’s speeches.

It was either that or give them detention.

And if the naughty-corner doesn’t work, they’ll be sent to their offices without any supper! / they’ll be sent to their electorates without any supper! / they’ll be grounded. / they’ll get time out.

They had to introduce some sort of sin-bin for politicians. Because fining them, sacking them, or deterring them in any way that is actually effective might upset them.

A political sin-bin’s not going to deter anyone. Half of them only got into politics for the political sin!

The bin will be filled with all the best sin: swearing, booze, porn – they’ll be like pigs in shit!

And if, after a spell in the sin bin, they continue to misbehave, they’ll be sent to the sin palace. / palace of sin.

Premier Anna Bligh says the new rule was effectively a “naughty corner” for politicians. And she’s always wanted to play schoolma’am. / And she’s looking forward to giving them a good spanking.

Previously the only naughty corner politicians could be sent to was the party room.

But if Queensland politicians aren’t allowed to be belligerent and abusive, how are they supposed to represent their constituents?

It’s the political equivalent of the naughty-corner. And there’s nothing a politician hates more than being naughty.

It’s a great way to punish politicians in a way that really doesn’t make any actual difference, but looks quite amusing when reported in the Odd Spot.

Of course, the only effective way to teach a politician a lesson is to DOCK THEIR BLOODY PAY.

Unfortunately the sin bin may get so full that they have to hold their votes there.

A bipartisan parliamentary committee agreed not just to the sin bin, but also a sin chamber, a sin palace, and a sin allowance.

The sin bin would be a fantastic idea if MPs didn’t spend half their time trying to avoid parliament to begin with.

Politicians support the idea – mainly because giving them time-out is essentially giving them an hour-long tax-payer-funded holiday!

The sinful politician has to leave the chamber for an hour. Gee, sins these days aren’t quite so deadly.

Sins that will be punished include personal abuse, swearing, and asking any questions about privatising everything. / and tricky questions.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

Leave a Reply