Declan the Crab
Declan the humble crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply
and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic
relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.
"We can't see each other anymore..."she sobbed.
"Why?" gasped Declan.
"Daddy says that crabs are too common", she wailed. "He claims you are
a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are the lowest class of
crustacean ... and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can
only walk sideways."
Declan was shattered, and scuttled sideward away into the darkness and
to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.
That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came from
far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the Lobster Princess
refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in.
The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the
King Lobster rose from his throne. Slowly, painstakingly, Declan the crab
made his way across the floor....and all could see that he was walking,
not sideways, but FORWARD !!!! One claw after another!
Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he finally
looked King Lobster in the eye.
There was a deadly hush.
Finally, the crab spoke . . .
................."Fuck, I'm pissed".
_____________________
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