Glass House

Trophy: Cut price sex on offer for Dresden’s unemployed (The Glass House 15/6/05)

The Age wants you to pay for this one too, the bastards

Unemployed men in Germany are being offered a 20 per cent discount at a Dresden brothel. Just bring in proof of being on the dole for two years to collect the discount. Two-year-old unwashed dishes qualify.

Worried about the apparent discrimination of the deal towards unemployed women, the government has offered them 20% off the costs of registering their own brothel…

The discount applies to snacks and beverages as well as services rendered. So edible condoms are 40% off.

One reason the madam offered the discount is that unemployment is nearly 20% in the Dresden area. Though since the announcement that’s doubled.

It’d be nice if they introduced that over here. It’d give a whole new meaning to Centrelink.

It’d be nice if they introduced that over here. It’d give a whole new meaning to Mutual Obligation.

The madam said the unemployed needed a helping hand-job.

“It’s been very hard,” said one unemployed customer, “But it’s floppy again now. Thanks.”

“I don’t want a hand-out,” said one customer, “I want a hand-job.”

“I’m always looking for jobs,” said one customer. “Especially blow-jobs.”

If you’re really skint, you can get a 100% discount by rooting an unemployed prostitute.

“There is some porn work left,” said one jobseeker, “But it’s all shit. And ponies.” (“…and leather.” “…and horses.” “…and gimp-masks.”)

Not only do they get cheap sex, transport and health care, but as a bonus they don’t have to go to work either!

You want to be careful, though. Make sure you know what it is you’re getting 20% off of…

A new clause in German Workplace Agreements allows you to terminate your employment due to (German accent) “extreme hornyness”.

So now if you’re strapped for cash, at least you can get strapped for cash.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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