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Good News Week

Where’s Jacko buried? (GNW 17/8/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

Michael Jackson is buried in an unmarked plot at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Hollywood. The exact location is being kept secret so fans don’t descend on the cemetery & damage or deface the grave. See – told you he wasn’t dead.

Michael Jackson is buried in an unmarked plot at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Hollywood. I always said – he was our generation’s Mozart.

The exact location is being kept secret so fans don’t descend on the cemetery & damage or deface the grave. They don’t want someone to Beat It. That would be Bad.

Michael Jackson is buried in an unmarked plot at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Hollywood. Nothing but the best for our Michael. / Well, at least he was buried.

Michael Jackson is buried in an unmarked plot at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Hollywood. And nothing really says “King of Pop” better than an unmarked grave.

Of course, having an unmarked memorial is kinda like having a pile of empty photo albums. / having a secret diary you never write in.

The exact location is being kept secret. If it was known, it might be hit by, might be struck by, a smooth criminal.

Jackson’s plot is unmarked. But just look for the sod that’s slowly whitening.

The exact location of Jackson’s unmarked plot at Forest Lawn Memorial Park is being kept secret. So just to make sure, fans will have to deface all the unmarked plots.

The exact location is being kept secret so fans don’t descend on the cemetery & damage or deface the grave. You know, coz fans just love to desecrate. / After all, grave desecration is the highest form of respect.

The exact location is being kept secret so fans don’t descend on the cemetery & damage or deface the grave. Which is strange behaviour for his fans – I would’ve expected the grave desecration to have come from all those kiddies he molested.

There are also plans to move the singer’s body if fans discover the location – that’s assuming it doesn’t moonwalk its way off-site itself. / doesn’t just up and Thriller-dance away first.

There are also plans to move the singer’s body if fans discover the location. Although the fans may just do that themselves.

It’s the fans I feel sorry for. What’s the world coming to when you can’t even desecrate the grave of your hero? / Being prevented from scrawling their name on their hero’s grave – it’s political correctness gone mad!

It’s a real shame no-one’s done what he wanted with his body. He wanted to be cremated, and have the ashes rubbed all over Macauley Culkin. / He wanted to be stuffed, and used as a hat-rack. / He wanted to be embalmed, and be a permanent fixture on the Neverland Scenic Railway. (dead wave happy face)

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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