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Nationals want dry farms (GNW 17/8/09: monologue)

As the ALP & the Liberals raced to see who could reward the big polluters even more, the Nationals vowed to create a climate change policy of their own. In their one, we just set fire to pandas.

As the ALP & the Liberals raced to see who could reward the big polluters even more, the Nationals vowed to create a climate change policy of their own. They suggest just giving the climate to the big polluters, to do what they like with, and we’ll all live in bubbles – on the moon!

Nationals Senate leader Barnaby Joyce insisted his party had a right to its own policy for the sake of diversity & proper representation of voters. You know, like the voters have the right to be able to vote for the Nationals and not end up with the Liberals getting into power.

He went on, “But money doesn’t grow on trees. So chop down the good-for-nothing bastards.”

He went on, “But money doesn’t grow on trees. It comes out of people’s pockets, & those pockets will be of coalminers”. Oh, those poor coalminers, having to help pay for a carbon emissions scheme.

A source said the Nationals didn’t want to constantly contradict their Coalition partner, but that the Liberals were really shit.

Though surely Joyce doesn’t need to create a whole new Nationals climate change policy. The Libs already have nine or ten.

Actually, most Liberal MPs also have their own climate change policy. Not to mention their own preferred party leader.

Joyce said Canberra needed parties “that clearly ventilate the views that are in the Australian public. Therefore, you must have the National Party ventilating views that are different from the Liberal Party.” I’m sure whatever he’s ventilating, it’s bound to warm the world nicely. / Sounds like he’s just full of hot air.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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