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Good News Week

Snakerabbits (GNW 28/9/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

A pair of Northern Queensland rabbits has been going on a snake-killing rampage. They breed ‘em tough up there, even the fluffy widdle bunnies.

And once they’ve killed all the snakes, they will turn their attention to US.

Of course, being North Queensland, they’re just working their way up to crocodiles. / this is just practice for crocs.

After ridding the property of snakes, the rabbits simply put on their capes and flew away. (Thankyou, Superbunnies!)

What’s weirdest is that they just hunt for sport.

I think I’d feel the same after a thousand years of eating carrots.

Yeah, well give a snake four feet and huge ears and THEN see who wins!

The rabbits just thought the snakes were feisty carrots. / carrots with a bit of spunk.

(Bugs Bunny) “Ch ch ch… Ehh, the carrots round here sure put up a fight!” / sure are feisty!”

They sure showed that snake who was king brown.

It’s a tough place, North Queensland. Not only do their bunnies kill snakes, but their puppies take down bison, their kitties tear crocodiles apart, and their tissues can take your face off.

“Now give us a carrot or another snake gets it!”

The incident follows similar footage from America. Clearly, the next step of evolution is here for rabbits… and it’s carnivorous.

Looks like carrots aren’t just good for your eyes.

Pah! Carrots are for pussies.

And you should see what they do to carrots.

And we’ve spent all this time trying to get RID of rabbits, when they’re actually our allies against the cold-blooded reptilian hordes!

Looks like the calicivirus had some unexpected side-effects… / had some side-effects after all…

The rabbits are just practising – for when they take on an enemy they simply call ‘The Vermin with Clothes’. / ‘The Two-Leggers”.

I think maybe it’s time we stop trying to kill all the rabbits, and start apologising.

I’m just worried that seeing rabbits attack and kill their predators is going to give cows the same idea…

Even more bizarre, there have now been stories of rabbits being killed by vicious and unpredictable lettuces.

The rabbit cull just got a lot harder.

Apparently, after the attack, one of the rabbits looked Armando in the eyes, went (“I’m watching you” sign with two fingers towards eyes and at person), and hopped away.

Feral cats are all like, “woah”.

Now can we train them to attack cane toads? Or have they already been licking them?

It’s thought the rabbits were trying to protect their baby bunnies. Or feed them.

It’s thought the rabbits were trying to protect their baby bunnies. And what parent wouldn’t try to protect their child from snakes by sic’ing a rabbit on them?

But they weren’t ordinary rabbits. They were radioactive mutant bunnies of doom.

But think of the poor snakes, being outbitten by a couple of bunnies. Biting was the only thing they had going for them.

Those rabbits can get real snarky after a night on the myxomatosis.

Well, those buck-teeth aren’t just for Bugs Bunny impressions.

“That’s not a fang – THIS is a fang.”

They were just killing the snakes as a warning to Bindi Irwin.

At last the cause of Beatrix Potter’s death is revealed, courtesy of Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Bloodfang.

“Watership Down 2” is going to be AWESOME.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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