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Glass House

College romance on syllabus (The Glass House 15/3/06)

Parramatta Community College has begun offering a Skills with Dating course to teach people how to date. Subjects covered include Flirting, Making Moves, and Getting Pissed Without Throwing Up…

People often don’t get a second date because they “put their dating face on”. Perhaps their dating face needs updating.

People often don’t get a second date because they “put their dating face on”. No wonder my dates fail – my dating face looks like this. (ugly face)

Instead of being marked by multiple choice, the students are marked by multiple orgasm.

The course is run by Karen Maloney, who found herself single after 18 years of marriage, and even then just had bad dates. Yeah, great qualifications there; no dating experience for nearly two decades, and then only bad ones…

If you pass her course, you’re qualified to have lots of really bad dates. Great.

She thought offering a course would be a great way to meet single guys without having to go on any dates…

Apparently there is one couple in the class. They just sit up the back, not paying any attention, whispering sour nothings into each others’ ears.

They also offer a course in “Being a Normal Person with a Genuine Social Life”.

The course gives people “the confidence to say they’re not interested if they’re not interested.” And I thought the idea was to get dates…

In the course, people are teamed up on “practice dates”, which has often led to “practice bonking” and sometimes to “practice marriage” with “practice kids” and a “practice mortgage”. So when these guys get a real life, they’re going to be set!

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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