Spain held its annual tomato-throwing festival, La Tomatina. It’s just like bullfighting – but the gore’s fake! / but the gore’s vegetarian!
It’s bullfighting for vegetarians!
It’s a Spanish sport, so something has to die, even if it’s just fruit.
It’s the only festival where tens of thousands of sweaty men look so appetising.
Hecklers marred the event. Or participated, it’s hard to tell. / Or participants, it’s hard to tell.
Sure, La Tomatina is messy, but it’s still more pleasant than La Offalina! / than their Festival of Offal.
Of course, if you can’t make it to Spain, you can just pelt yourself with tomatoes at home.
Strange that it’s fine for 45,000 people to throw over 100 tonnes of tomatoes at each other, but when I do it with one measly boxful, people call the cops!
If you’re going to try this at home PLEASE remember the golden rule – take them out of the can first.
What better way to waste immense quantities of food?
45,000 people threw an estimated 100 tonnes of tomatoes. What’s that noise? I think I can hear the Third World weeping.
And that, boys and girls, is where sauce really comes from.
I have a dream where the La Tomatina festival coincides with Garlic Week, Cheesarama, Pastafarian Fortnight, and Slaughterhouse Sunday – and the world becomes bolognaise.
Of course, to get out all those tomato stains, Spanish people have to wash in garlic and cheese. It’s the only thing that really works.
Sure, being hit by tomatoes can hurt. But it does improve your flavour.
It’s much safer than La Pumpkina.
Of course, there are some nasty injuries. You just can’t tell.
Well, I guess if you’re going to have a riot, you might as well make it delicious.
Weirdly enough, no-one knows exactly how La Tomatina actually started. That page in the history books was obliterated with pulp.
Some people think the event started as a few mates throwing produce at each other, others say it began as a protest against religion, but it’s clear – it’s a protest against eating tomatoes.
With Spanish unemployment above 20% and the economy in ruins, it’s nice to see they can still waste 100 tonnes of tomatoes.
After a tasting, they decided to follow it up with a light fight of salt.
After the tomato fight, they always like to follow it up with a battle of icecream and crumble.
La Tomatina is best accompanied by a dry red grape fight.
Just a warning, don’t follow up La Tomatina with a bullfight. (You’ll be all red rag.)
