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Dodson’s dialogue (GNW 31/8/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

The man known as the father of reconciliation, Patrick Dodson, is calling for a new dialogue between indigenous & non-indigenous Australians, saying the current conversation isn’t working. They keep saying “hello?” and we keep saying “talk to the hand”.

The man known as the father of reconciliation, Patrick Dodson, has called for a new dialogue between indigenous & non-indigenous Australians, saying the current conversation isn’t working. It’s in English, for starters.

The current conversation is:
“Um, we lived here first.”
“Laadidaadidaa, can’t hear you, laadidaadidaa”.

Professor Dodson pointed to the current debate on climate change as one that needs to include an indigenous perspective. After all, if Australia was still under their control, there’d be no cars, no pollution, no salinity problem, no overfishing, no rabbit plague, no cane-toads, and no bloody debate on climate change.

Sure, indigenous people lived in harmony with the land for 80,000 years – but did they invent the roller-door? I don’t think so. / the cask? Nah-uh. / the tilt-pad thrust bearing? No siree. / polocrosse? Not on your nelly.

So far, every government has tried to deal with it by insisting the indigenous people assimilate – but they SHOULD assimilate! After all, what could we possibly learn from people who’ve lived here for 80,000 years?

In the same way as New Zealand incorporates Maori culture into mainstream life and language, we should incorporate indigenous culture into Australia’s. Although granted, in modern city life, it is getting more and more difficult to find a practical use for a boomerang.

But what else can they expect Kevin to do? He’s already said ‘sorry’, what more do they want? / I mean, he’s sorry, but not THAT sorry.

Indigenous Australians just want to have the same access to health, education and employment as everyone else, without having to lose their entire culture to get it. Greedy bastards.

Indigenous Australians just want to have the same access to health, education and employment as everyone else, without having to lose their entire culture in the process. And replace it with Miley Cyrus and Blue Heelers.

They’re just being picky. I’d be more than happy to lose quite a lot of my culture. Especially all the bits that involve Ped Eggs and anal bleaching.

We need a true cultural exchange, where we learn ancient indigenous customs, like finding bush tucker, singing dream songs, and not invading Iraq. / and not blindly following America.

We could start teaching indigenous languages in our mainstream schools. I mean what kid wouldn’t want to know the word for “bum” in 700 languages?

And maybe, just maybe, we could occasionally have an aboriginal person on TV.

Dodson says we are a nation trapped by our history. Or at least the Aboriginal people were trapped by our history.

Dodson says we’re paralysed by our failure to see a relationship with the first peoples as anything other than assimilation. And those whitefellas still aren’t doing it. / Yeah, well who’s the one talking English?

Dodson says “there is an aggressive polemic, often masquerading as scholarship, which portrays traditional culture and the structures that protect and support Aboriginal society as reasons for chronic disadvantage and impediments to closing the gap.” What a savage. / Sounds like ooga-booga talk to me. / If ya gunna live in this country, at least speak English!

Professor Dodson pointed to the current debate on climate change as one that needs to include an indigenous perspective. Though if the Europeans hadn’t come at some stage, the indigenous people may not have even heard of climate change.

Professor Dodson pointed to the current debate on climate change as one that needs to include an indigenous perspective. Y’know, seeing as they lived with the land for 80,000 years, and we’ve got no freakin clue whatsoever.

Professor Dodson pointed to the current debate on climate change as one that needs to include an indigenous perspective. But that seems a bit unfair – we just sweep in, trash the place, and then expect them to clean it up.

An ideal model would be one where each culture both learns from and educates the other, utilising the best things from each. But of course, that’s never going to happen in a political system where if one party says “Up” the other party automatically says “Down”.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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