Rudd government ministers are being charged $1300 each per annum to pay for snacks in cabinet meetings, up from $50 under the previous government. And that’s even with Kim Beazley retired.
Rudd government ministers are being charged $1300 each per annum to pay for snacks in cabinet meetings. But larks’ tongues aren’t cheap. / But caviar doesn’t grow on trees, y’know.
Now, cabinet ministers don’t automatically get access to the cabinet.
$25 a week sandwich tax! They’d better start going to those meetings.
$25 a week sandwich tax! And you should see the tax on dimmies! / the tax on milkshakes! / the tax on mixed lollies! / the tax on SunnyBoys! / the tax on Iced Vovos!
For $25 a week you think they could afford chockie bickies. Or at least napkins. / clean water.
Kevin Rudd has charged himself an extra $200. But then he does get Iced Vovos. / That’s an additional Vovo allowance. / But he gets first pick, which is why no-one else gets chockie bickies. / Which is why the Monte Carlos are always missing.
The $1300 covers finger food, sandwiches, tea and biscuits of the “assorted cream” standard. And junior ministers are only allowed the Milk Coffees and Nices.
The $1300 covers finger food, sandwiches, tea and biscuits of the “assorted cream” standard. Dunking is 50 bucks extra. / 50 bucks extra if you’re caught dunking.
The news is even worse for shadow ministers. Every time an opinion poll comes out, they have to eat shit.
The catering is anything but lavish: one minister complained that all he got for his $25 per week was nuts and Kool Mints. At least when they were in opposition they got to eat shit.
Kool Mints? Outrageous! Surely they should at least get a Party Mix.
Meetings in Melbourne only get sandwiches for lunch, though in Sydney they get hot food. Microwaved sandwiches.
Some ministers are annoyed that ministers who meet more often are getting the lion’s share of the snacks. For instance the Expenditure Review Committee, otherwise known as the Snack Tax Review Committee.
Now we know who paid for the quiches at the 2020 Summit.
Ministers are being forced to panhandle outside parliament house. “Will pass bills for food”.
Unfortunately the move is likely to spark corruption, as ministers will be unable to resist the offer of a pie and sauce. / of just a teensy bit of caviar. / a free sandwich.
In Melbourne, they get sandwiches, in Sydney they get hot food – and in Adelaide, they get not food.
Unfortunately now that they’re paying so much for snacks, cabinet ministers are stuffing their guts and their pockets full of sandwiches, which isn’t keeping downward pressure on inflation.
The levy doesn’t even extend as far as chocolate biscuits. So not only are ministers overworked and underpaid, they don’t even get Tim Tams! What’s the point of running the country?
Good to see they’re thinking about what snacks they can get, and how much they are per year, rather than wasting their time on climate change, middle-eastern warfare, or the coming oil-and-water apocalypse.
And if you don’t like sandwiches, well you shouldn’t have gotten into politics, should you.
They may just be sandwiches, but they’re filled with caviar. And the bread’s made of gold.
They may just be sandwiches, but you haven’t lived til you’ve had a sanger filled with vegemite, cheese and caviar. / with ham, cheese and lark’s tongue. / with bacon, lettuce and shark’s fin.
Of course ministers with gluten intolerance just have to starve. / suck on a tea bag.
Of course ministers with gluten intolerance – well you shouldn’t have gotten into politics, should you.
They’re supplied food as part of their position, but they still have to score their own hookers and blow.
The ministers not only have to pay for sandwiches, their cocaine habit is no longer tax deductible.
Under the previous government, ministers only paid a nominal $50 fee per year, which got them not just sandwiches, but free access to the vintage cellar.
Of course, all this comes in stark contrast to the Howard regime, where the first thing he did was order lobster for all and declare an open bar.
