Researchers say that babies are having their development retarded by watching TV. On the other hand they do learn far more annoying jingles. So it’s a mixed bag.
Most parents don’t interact with babies while they’re watching TV. Well what’s the point of TV if you have to keep interacting with the bloody kids?
But TV is a really good way to teach them important life-lessons, like which all-in-one shampoo and conditioner has built-in enzymes, and how to reduce the 7 signs of aging.
But if babies don’t watch TV, how are they going to know which ring-tones they should download, or where to download the hottest ladies?
Apparently, TV is really bad for the development of babies. Unless, of course, they’re watching Good News Week – which is actually excellent for the development of a child’s ability to analyse a news story, and, using rigorous satire and probing intellect, turn it into a string of cock jokes.
But is “Jack and Jill went up the hill” really any better for kids than “call call Carpet Call?” / “Priceline, Priceline, you pay less at Priceline”?
TV may be bad for them, but it sure beats looking after the little fuckers.
TV may be a bad babysitter, but it’s still better than leaving them with Michael Jackson.
We were always told we’d get square eyes if we watched too much television, and that turned out to be total rubbish. It just fucked up our brains. / Turns out TV doesn’t give you square eyes, it gives you a square brain.
TV may be bad for babies, but at least now they think they can dance.
I think TV is great for little babies, especially only children. At least this way, they have a Big Brother.
Apparently, watching TV without parental interaction retards a child’s ability to communicate. Which prepares them perfectly for adolescence. / Which is an important skill to learn if they’re ever going to become teenagers.
The president for Young Media Australia said that there are no shows made for kids under 12 months old. Yes, well, if there were, you couldn’t show them on TV – the entire show would just be an enormous pair of lactating breasts.
The president for Young Media Australia said that there are no shows made for kids under 12 months old. Well, there are actually loads of ’em, available for download from “massive_lactating_breasts.com”.
But the perfect TV show for babies would be the same as the perfect show for men: 30 minutes of non-stop breasts.
There are no shows aimed at kids under 18 months. So even the target market thinks the Tellietubbies are a bit retarded. / Because any younger and the Tellietubbies might start to make sense.
The US study found 97% of six month olds watched an average of two hours of TV per day. So in fact denying your kids TV will mean they’re anti-social nerds. / So unless your kids are watching TV, they’ll be the outcasts!
The US study found 97% of six month olds watched an average of two hours of TV per day. And the other 3% were smoking crack. / out pimpin’.
It’s not TV itself that’s the problem, it’s the lack of interaction. Children can be just as badly retarded by being taken down to the park, strapped in the swing and abandoned.
In the days before TV, parents had to warp their children’s minds themselves. / with the wireless. / with shadow-puppets. / with gory camp-fire stories.
The US Academy of Pediatrics suggests children shouldn’t watch TV before the age of 2, and should instead have full-time interaction with their sleep-deprived brain-dead parents to ensure their minds are custom-warped.
The US Academy of Pediatrics suggests children shouldn’t watch TV before the age of 2, while the US Academy of Television suggests the Academy of Pediatrics go get rooted.
But it’s hard to tell the long-term effects of kids’ TV. I mean, Albert Einstein didn’t talk until he was 4 years old. And he probably watched heaps of “Baby Einstein” DVDs.
Albert Einstein didn’t talk until he was 4 years old – imagine how smart he’d’ve been if he’d watched those “Baby Einstein” DVDs!
Half of US infants are watching shows not intended for young children. But at least on “America’s Next Top Model” they’re talking at an age-appropriate level.
The US Academy of Pediatrics suggests children shouldn’t watch TV before the age of 2, and should also be kept in a hermetically-sealed bubble to avoid contamination. That way they come out thoughtful and snap-fresh.
I agree, babies shouldn’t be watching TV! What’s wrong with the newspaper? / the Financial Times?
I agree, babies shouldn’t be watching TV! There’s work to do.
But unless parents plonk their toddlers down in front of “Play School” occasionally, they’ll never get to finish their own brightly coloured TV studio to keep the kids entertained.
