Sarah Palin has retired as Alaskan Governor, but is still remaining coy about what she’ll be doing next. She’s got a lot of options: moose-hunter, hockey mom, national President, take your pick!
The biggest question is what next for Palin? Will she get a boat, and go sailin’? Or catch fish that need scalin’? Will she go to Japan to take up whalin’? Or will she continue doing what she’s always done, and just keep on failin’?
She’s getting a boat, hunting whales, tying up hay, and then following one of the members of Monty Python around. That’s right: Palin’s sailin’, whalin’, and balin’, then tailin’ Michael Palin.
The biggest question is what will Palin do next? Except to Sarah herself, to whom the biggest question is “If Cain and Abel were allowed to breed with their mum, why not my kids?”
In her farewell speech, she said she was sick of people treating her badly in the media and on blogs. They always focus on her glasses, or her accent, or the fact she’s a hillbilly redneck hick with no political nous, who likes to shoot things and steal public funds. It’s just unfair!
She’s always portrayed in the media as a hillbilly redneck hick, but there’s so much more to her than that. Don’t forget, she’s a MILF too.
She’s going to take time out to write a book. And wave to the Russians.
She’s most excited about writing a book. She says at this stage, the biggest challenge will be working out what all the little squiggles mean.
She’s going to work on a book. She just needs someone else to help with the colour-inning. (It’s so hard to stay within the lines.)
“Free speech” was a major theme of her farewell speech, as no-one would be willing to pay. / though most people were there for the “free food”.
Alaskans turned out in their thousands to palm her off onto the rest of America.
She took aim at the media for “makin’ things up”. That should be left to presidential candidates. / presidents.
Watch out – she may be preparing for a run at the 2012 election. And this time, she’ll have looked at an atlas. / And this time, she’ll have had four years of swotting on Wikipedia.
With Hilary Clinton vowing not to run for US President again, Palin is probably the front-runner to be the first female President. Which could strike a great blow for chauvinism! / Which will strike a great blow for feminism.
Palin could still run for President, even though 53 percent of Americans have an unfavourable view of her. That’s still a long way short of Dubya while he was President!
Palin said that leaving politics will enable her to fight harder for what is right. She’s becoming a vigilante. / bounty hunter. / superhero.
Of course, now she’s retired from office, she can concentrate on her first love: blowing the brains out of animals.
She’s going to be spending more time on Twitter. Why does that not surprise me.
She loves spending time on Twitter. Although, she thinks all her followers are actually birds. / And once she’s got enough little birds following her, she’s going to switch to Splatter.
She says her replacement, Sean Purnell, “has a very nice family”. And who says she’s not a political mastermind?
Moose are worried. They liked it better when she was in politics.
She doesn’t know what she’s doing next. Par for the course. / So no change there.
No-one knows what she’s doing. In fact she never has.
But if she runs becomes the Presidential candidate, who would be her running mate? John McCain in an iron lung? A moose? Tina Fey, just so they could play twin-style pranks on world leaders?
Unfortunately no matter how often she goes up against Obama, she’ll always be Palin in comparison.
At least a break from governing will give her another chance to have one more bizarrely-named retard child.
Palin also said she’s had to spend an “insane” amount of time and money to address “frivolous” ethics complaints filed against her. But it’s OK, those people won’t be filing complaints no more.
