A Brisbane man is selling the right side of his face as advertising space and will work for whichever company wins the bid to permanently tattoo his bald head. And I will swear to evermore buy the products of any company that wins the bid and asks him to tattoo a penis.
But the guy looks like a total bogan. It’ll end up being an ad for Winnie Blues. / moccasins. / flannies. / blue singlets.
It’s either that or getting another skull on fire. / mermaid with big tits.
He’s already got the left hand side of his face covered in non-advertising tattoos, so the winning bidder will have to share their walking billboard with a flaming sword sticking out of a vagina.
Why not? I mean he’s already fucked half his face.
The left half of his face is already entirely covered with a tattoo. He’s decided to sell the right half off since he doesn’t really like tatts any more. / since he’s decided the first half’s crap.
The trouble with getting a product tattooed onto your head is that products come and go, while tatts stay forever. Just ask my mate Trevor – his forehead is tattooed “Mello Yello”. / “Tab: just one calorie”. Ask your parents.
He said “What better way to connect my love of art and support my family as well, than tattooing the fuck out of my face?” / than permanently emblazoning my face with a corporate logo?”
He said “What better way to connect my love of art and support my family as well?” Because nothing says “art” like a facial tattoo saying “It’s MacTime”. / “Coke Is It”. / “L’Oreal, because you’re worth it”.
You know life’s going really well when you decide to become an ad.
And he’s such an attractive billboard. 37, ugly, and with so few things going for him that he’s got to sell his face as advertising space.
The tatt will present other restrictions. It wouldn’t be done to be caught drinking Pepsi with a Coke tatt.
A soft drink company are going to pay for him to get the Coke logo as a tatt, and then photograph him drinking Pepsi.
It’s a perfect place to advertise Facebook. / his tattooist.
Excellent advertising space if you’re selling anchors, hearts, or Mums.
And what product wouldn’t want to be associated with the side of a bikie’s face? / bogan’s face?
So not only will he have his head emblazoned with the company logo, he’ll work for them for life. I’m going to launch an appeal to raise the money for a firm of sewerage handlers.
He wants to provide better for his wife and children, Tre, Tanika, Candis, and Finette. Maybe if he earns enough he can buy them proper names.
He wants to provide better for his wife and children, Tre, Tanika, Candis, and Finette. He’s hoping to call his next kids Nike, Coke and Four-X.
He wants to provide better for his wife and children, Tre, Tanika, Candis, and Finette. All his kids were named after tatts he got when he was drunk.
He’s hoping to get enough money to help pay rent and support his young family. Because when the cash runs out he can get them tattooed.
He’s already got the left hand side of his face covered in non-advertising tattoos. Possibly why he finds it difficult to get a normal job in a bank.
It’ll have to be a certain type of product. Because I don’t think a bald bikie with a facial tattoo is gunna sell a lot of Stayfree. / Rexona. / Antz Pantz. / feminine hygiene. / manchester.
So far, the most likely company is software giants MYOB. Or as the tatt will say, “Fuck Off”.
He says that rather than getting up in the morning and working “for the man”, he’d rather work for the employer that had branded his skull. Because that’s so much more independent.
A corporate brand tattooed into your face. The very definition of freedom.
Only trouble is, if he gets fired he has to cut off his head. / Although if he quits he has to leave the employer his head.
When he eventually retires, he’ll get a Golden Headbutt.
He’s doing it support his four kids. Or, as he likes to call them, his “growing billboards”.
He already has a tattoo on his neck saying TAKTF. WTF? / Perhaps he could have one underneath saying WTF.
Some of his other tatts include “TAKTF” on his neck, which means “Teach A Kid To Fish”. The back of his neck reads “OIBYFHI”, which means “Or I’ll Bash Ya Fuckin Head In”.
He already has “TAKTF” tattooed on his neck. It actually stands for “Teach A Kid To Fish”, but, for the right money, he’s quite happy to tell people it means “Toyota – Ah Kwha Ta Feeling”. / “Telstra Sony K-Mart Toyota Fanta.”
KFC has made a bid. Their idea is to just have half his face tattooed to look like Colonel Sanders.
The whole thing’s been a mix-up. Someone said they wanted to add him on Facebook and he’s ended up booking ads on his face.
