Hawthorn President Jeff Kennett has said he hopes that the Hawks will be the first AFL club to field a female player. But women’s groups say it’s unlikely that the first women players would play for Hawthorn. Brown and gold, are you kidding? / No girl would be seen dead in the “poos and wees”.
Women in the AFL could not just be competitive, but much hotter in tight shorts.
How can women play footy? They’ve got tits!
Kennett says he wants to see women playing football, as long as they’re hot. / there are no ugly chicks.
Kennett says women these days are increasingly physically able to compete with men. Or at least with him.
Kennett makes a good point. If women are able to join the army, they should be able to join other groups of violent meatheads too.
It’s true – I’ve met many women who are just as aggressive, useless and moronic as men.
It would result in cheering not just for goals, but every time they kick a behind.
Kennett says that it was about time wet T-shirt contests were taken out of the end-of-year functions and put out on the field where they belong.
I don’t think chicks are going to want to play for Hawthorn. Or any club beginning with “whore”.
Kennett is starting up a new team to train women up ready to play for the Hawks. He’s calling it the Hawthorn Whores.
There would need to be some major rule changes. For starters, no tackling. (Well, they’ve got no tackle.)
There would need to be some major rule changes. For starters, no tackling round the boobs. (And no vadge-gouging.)
Major rules will need to be changed before women can play. Well, okay, so mostly just one rule. Actually, just the rule that says “women can’t play football”, really.
Though watch out – Chris Judd could have a whole new range of pressure point techniques to apply.
But this isn’t really a new idea. Doesn’t Kennett remember Warwick Capper?
Kennett said it’s about time we had the Camel-toe of the Week.
Women would be awesome in footy. And they’d have an advantage, because footy players are reluctant to hit a woman, if they’re sober.
And woe betide any man who goes up against a ruckman who’s on her rags!
Personally, I’m looking forward to the bitch fights.
Of course, if you ask rugby league players, most footy AFL players are already a buncha girls.
Women can’t play footy! You ever tried drop-punting a footy in stilettos? / They’ll run after the ball, twist their ankle, and have to be carried around by the other players for the rest of the game!
At least if there are women in the team, when one of the guys gets a groin injury, there’ll be someone to kiss it better.
But if the women are playing footy, who’s the team going to gang-rape after the game?
Of course, the main reason women aren’t allowed to play is that the big burly men are afraid of being beaten by a girl. / know they’re going to lose.
Kennett says modern, physically-fit women should be more than able to hold their own in running, tackling and assault.
Modern women are not only fit enough to match men in kicking, handballing and tackling, but will bring in whole new skills in emotional blackmail.
Having women on the team is not only breaking down sexism, it’ll also be good for team morale. Especially since before each game they can do those sexy cheerleader moves.
And, for that matter, men should be allowed to poledance.
