A Bosnian man has had his home hit by meteorites five times since last November. That’s the last time he builds a house in the asteroid belt. / with a blackhole chimney. / out of cheap bricks from Roswell.
A Bosnian man’s house has been hit by meteorites 5 separate times, which has convinced him he’s under attack by aliens. Of course, if he was really under attack by aliens, they’d’ve wiped him out already with their superior technology. This guy is obviously under attack by meteorites.
Of course, if he was really under attack by aliens, they’d’ve wiped him out already with their superior technology. This is quite clearly just the intergalactic equivalent of being egged. / of being waterbombed.
He’s also repeatedly gone to answer the doorbell, and no-one’s there – just a UFO zooming off in the distance. / The aliens have also been ringing his doorbell and zooming off to the edge of the galaxy by the time he answers it.
And, after each meteor attack, he swears he can hear an alien voice shouting out “Dude, you’ve been PUNK’D!”
Not only has he been pelted with meteorites, but when his garden gnome went missing, he was sent postcards of it holidaying on Venus.
Of course, being hit with the meteorites isn’t the best part of the alien prank. Just wait til they hatch…
The guy’s house just happens to be located in the pocket of an intergalactic snooker table.
That’s right, an alien species from a distant galaxy has travelled thousands of light years to our planet just to throw rocks at some guy’s house. That’s some grudge. / Boy, their planet must be boring.
Looks like Ming the Merciless has a teenaged son. / has just quit caring. / has totally given up.
The man is now convinced that he’s being targeted by extraterrestrials. TEENAGE extraterrestrials.
Finally puts to rest the argument about whether aliens visiting Earth will be friendly or malevolent. Turns out they’ll be teenaged.
That’s right – the aliens are here! And they’re throwing rocks at a Bosnian guy’s house! NOOOOO!!!
Of course, they’re just practising on this poor Bosnian. Their real attack will be pelting a few rocks at the White House. / the United Nations. Take that, puny Earthlings!
It’s just the aliens practicing their aim with a few rocks before moving on to their Doomsday Device. / It’s just the aliens getting their aim right before they bring out the Doomsday Device.
Looks like the aliens have got superior technology in the space-travel department, but could learn a thing or two about effective weaponry. / about planetary attack. / about intergalactic genocide. / about wiping out other species. They’ve come to the right place!
Of course, they’re actually just trying to distract him from the Doomsday Device they’re assembling in his back shed.
Those anal probes are getting cruder.
The aliens are getting lazy. They just chuck their anal probes now, hoping that one of them will happen to land up the guy’s arse.
Still, he’d rather be hit by meteorites than get the probings he had last time.
The man’s extremely upset by having aliens shower his house in meteorites. He was hoping for a good probing. / “Why won’t they just probe me?”
Of course, the aliens could just zap him and his house into nothingness with one of their photon death-rays – but where’s the fun in that?
Experts at Belgrade University are now investigating local magnetic fields to try and work out what makes the property so attractive to meteorites. And why it’s only happened since this guy moved in.
What’s actually happened is that the meteorites keep hitting him by mistake – he looks heaps like an asteroid.
Well after the first meteorite hit, his house did look like a pretty comfy spot for a landing.
He even went so far as to wish upon a star that the meteorites would stop hitting him. Of course, the shooting star turned out to be just another meteorite.
The meteorites are actually a warning from the good aliens – “watch out, the evil aliens are coming to abduct you!”
They say lightning never strikes the same place twice, but it seems they’ve got nothing to say on the matter of meteorites.
Strange – no-one has thought to ask any questions at the Serbian Rock Museum… / any questions about the recent robbery at the Bosnian Planetarium…
The man said he’s terrified of being struck again, though not half as scared as meteor pilots who are scheduled to fly in the vicinity of his house.
Being hit by five meteorites in five months is incredibly bad luck. This guy should start selling lotto tickets.
