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Good News Week

America’s Blackest Prez (GNW 28/9/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

Barack Obama has become the first serving President to appear on David Letterman’s “Late Show”. Well, at least the first to appear willingly. Obama’s going to try to appear on as many comedy shows as possible. It’s one area where he’s still well behind George Bush. He was pretty funny on the show, but still […]

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Good News Week

Ten For Sale (GNW 28/9/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

The future is uncertain for Channel Ten after a major shareholder announced they were going to sell off their shares, worth over 50% of the company. Looks like Ramsey Street’s a dead end… Canadian company CanWest is about to sell its 50.06 percent stake of the Ten Network. Finally I can chuck out that maple […]

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Good News Week

Ruddy No-Friends (GNW 28/9/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

Poor old Kevin Rudd had a bit of a fizzer at the UN. Not only did he have to speak over an hour late to a third of the audience he was expecting, but he missed Obama’s party at the Metropolitan Museum. And they were having fairy floss! / Luckily he still could go back […]

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Good News Week

Weekend Taliban (GNW 28/9/09: Warren)

It’s been revealed that many workers for the Afghanistan government are fighting for the Taliban on the weekends. It’s called covering your arse. / currying up to both lots of fundamentalist nutjobs. Say what you like about Hamid Karzai’s corrupt election-rigging regime, at least they give you weekends off. Though if a weekend Taliban member […]

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Good News Week

Hoff his tits (GNW 28/9/09: Warren)

David Hasselhoff was saved by his teenage daughter calling paramedics after what was reported to be a day-long vodka binge. Oh David, is there anything you can’t do? / I never knew he was so cosmopolitan! That’s why they call him the Hoff – he’s always hoff his tits. / face. He claims he wasn’t […]

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Good News Week

Snakerabbits (GNW 28/9/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

A pair of Northern Queensland rabbits has been going on a snake-killing rampage. They breed ‘em tough up there, even the fluffy widdle bunnies. And once they’ve killed all the snakes, they will turn their attention to US. Of course, being North Queensland, they’re just working their way up to crocodiles. / this is just […]

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Good News Week

Dumpster love mugging (GNW 28/9/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

Aa middle-aged couple in Kansas have been robbed while sharing “a tender moment in a rubbish bin”. The robbery ruined their life-long dreams of making love in a skip filled with rubbish. But it did fulfill their life-long dreams of being robbed while making love in a skip filled with rubbish. So that’s nice. Two […]

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Good News Week

Uranium Attracts Aliens (GNW 28/9/09: Strange But True)

South Australian organisation UFOSA has pleaded for BHP Billiton’s Olympic Dam uranium mining expansion to cease, claiming that uranium mining can lead to “intervention by alien UFO intelligences” and the “extinction of people as a species”. Yeah, sure. They just want us to stop making nukes so we’re defenceless against the aliens. South Australian organisation […]

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Good News Week

Finally, a Magnetic Flying Mouse (GNW 28/9/09: Strange But True)

Scientists have managed to make mice levitate to investigate bone loss in zero gravity environments. Obviously “making mice fly” wasn’t sciencey enough. Levitating mice? Our cheese will never be safe again. Flying mice? Now I’m no 50s housewife, but I reckon that’d make ME scream. Trouble is, there’s no cheese up there. It’s all part […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (GNW 28/9/09: closing)

Tuesday, September 29 In Sydney, it’s the Men Of League Foundation’s annual dinner. It’s a glittering night, where the more glamorous a woman’s dress, the more blokes they’ll be going home with. In Sydney, it’s the Men Of League Foundation’s annual dinner. Some of the more expensive frocks have been paid for by all of […]