September 17th has been declared National Singles Day, the perfect day to send yourself flowers, buy yourself choccies, spend the night masturbating, and cry yourself to sleep. September 17th has been declared National Singles Day, so send yourself flowers, buy yourself choccies or treat yourself to a night alone with just the one of you. […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
European criminals are going one step further than simply skimming ATM card details – they’re building fake ATMs, some of which even give out real money. And if you suspect them of being criminals, they’ll just give you more money. ATMs are being constructed in and around shopping centres by master organised crime groups known […]
An American shoplifter is behind bars after being caught on camera smuggling a 24-can slab of beer between her thighs. But the joke’s on the authorities. They still haven’t found the second slab. / still haven’t found where she hid the second slab. And you should see where she hid the longnecks. She would have […]
A Romanian woman presented at hospital with burns, two black eyes and a broken cheek bone while her husband had an almost bitten off penis. Those Romanians sure know how to party. The woman was giving her husband a blow-job while he was cooking pancakes. I suppose if that’s what it takes to get the […]
A Japanese café is offering stressed customers the opportunity to cuddle up to a rabbit. Unfortunately, the café only serves carrots. The Usagi-to Café also features rabbit decor, rabbit-shaped toys, dishes moulded to look like rabbits, and tiny little customer-hutches. Girls love to go and pat the fluffy bunnies, guys love to go and perv […]
A 65-year-old German amateur pilot has lost his license after flying while four times over the legal limit and radioing the control tower to ask “Where the bloody hell have you hidden yourself?” He was so pissed, he not only started speaking English, but doing a Steve Irwin impression. A 65-year-old German amateur pilot has […]
Tuesday, September 15 Beyoncé will begin her Australian tour in Brisbane, or as they’re calling it for the event, Breysbané. Beyoncé will begin her Australian tour in Brisbane. Brisbanelicious! / I’m available if she’s after a bit of Beyoncé-Beyoncé… Dan Brown’s sequel to “The Da Vinci Code” will be released, to anyone who can decipher […]
Men between 60 and 69 are most at risk from a deadly scourge – deaths due to do-it-yourself. But I guess, if you’re gunna die, die DIY. By all means, do it yourself – just make sure you get someone to do it yourself for you. Some call it a tragedy, some call it evolution. […]
A Canadian palaeontologist is planning to manipulate chicken embryos to create a dinosaur. He’s not sure what sort of dinosaur exactly, probably a chookasaurus. A Canadian palaeontologist is planning to manipulate chicken embryos to create a dinosaur. But it’s not a waste of time – he’s pretty sure that the dinosaurs will be able to […]
Ladies! Build more feminine curves with the Shake Weight! It promises not to cum in your mouth. / to respect you in the morning. Of course, one of the drawbacks to the exercise machine is that it’s a lot smaller in cold weather. And sometimes, despite everything, it just won’t work at all. Let’s just […]