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Good News Week

Kyle and Jackie O ruin radio (GNW 17/8/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

The Australian Communications and Media Authority is considering new protections for minors and guidelines for radio “pranks” thanks to Kyle and Jackie O’s hilarious rape-detector segment. Typical – one idiotic mother grills her teenager and now we all have to miss out on the hilarity of gotcha calls! Radio laws are being looked into as […]

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Good News Week

No Sex is Fun! (GNW 17/8/09: 7 Days In 7 Seconds)

A youth group is calling for an end to casual sex. They want it to be full-time. A youth group is calling for an end to casual sex. They want all sex to be really uptight. / to be performed in dinner jackets and spats. / to have a dress code. They’re called Restoring Integrity […]

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Good News Week

Disco Bubs (GNW 17/8/09: 5 Second Grab)

A Sydney nightclub has just launched dance parties for parents and their young children. Baby Loves Disco is a great concept – although flared nappies can cause some real problems. Not only is everyone at the nightclub high on Es, but As, Bs, Cs, and Ds too. And you haven’t lived until you’ve seen someone […]

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Good News Week

Bow-wow-lingual (GNW 17/8/09: Strange But True)

Japanese inventors have come up with a device to translate a dog’s bark into human words. Now if only I had a device that could translate the words from Japanese. Japanese inventors have come up with a device to translate a dog’s bark into human words. Who would have guessed – turns out dogs speak […]

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Good News Week

Breastfeeding Doll (GNW 17/8/09: Strange But True)

A Spanish company has released a doll which breastfeeds. Great for encouraging kids to breastfeed, or for wannabe mothers unable to conceive. Of course, it’s not as confronting as the doll you have to push out of your vagina. The doll latches onto the petals of flowers on a halter-top which the child wears. Which […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (GNW 17/8/09: closing)

Tuesday, August 18 Alice Cooper and Pink both tour Wollongong this week. Wollongong – it’s the new Woodstock. / Knebworth. / Madison Square Garden. Alice Cooper and Pink both tour Wollongong this week, prompting the Mayor to change the name of the town to “Woollonstock”. Alice Cooper’s tour will hit Wollongong, on its way to […]

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Good News Week

Love Bombs (GNW 10/8/09: monologue)

Spurned lovers all over Iraq are planting bombs to blow up the obstacle to their love – be it the girl’s father or the girl itself. Ahh. I love a happy ending. Young Iraqi men are now often planting a “love explosive device” after being dumped – which itself is often due to their love […]

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Good News Week

Kim Jong Ill? (GNW 10/8/09: monologue)

North Korea is making its first documentary about their Dear Leader, Kim Jong-il. The documentary is going to be called “Kim Jong-il, Superstar”, and will chronicle the leader’s life as he fed the hungry, preached sermons from the mount, and walked on water to save the princess from the fire-breathing dragon. It’ll be one part […]

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Good News Week

Robots Will Kill Us All (GNW 10/8/09: What’s The Story?)

A conference has been debating whether artificial intelligence should be continued to be developed beyond the point where it can be controlled. Just let the damn robots take over. At least their cold, calculating logic is a consistent moral code. Computer scientists agree we’re still a long way from HAL, the computer that took over […]

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Good News Week

Aussie homes filthiest (GNW 10/8/09: What’s The Story?)

Australian homes are the least hygenic in the developed world, according to a new study. Mind you, the only other developed countries studied were the UK, the US, Germany, South Africa and Saudi Arabia. So I’m sure we’re still ahead of France and Spain. Only India and Malaysia returned worse results. And they still have […]