Police in Minnesota are looking for a 31-year-old man who has a sexual fetish for slashing rubber balls. Not to arrest him, mind you – just for discreet fun times. Minnesota police are chasing a man with a sexual fetish for slashing rubber exercise balls. Soon he’ll have enough for his own gimp suit that […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
The Church of England has launched a new “two-in-one” wedding and baptism service, allowing you to tie the knot and the cord in one go. Of course, it can be quite confronting listening to any prayer that begins “Dear Lord Jesus, please forgive these slutty fornicators and their bastard spawn…” The only downside is that […]
A Japanese man has spent three years with his girlfriend – a pillow featuring a drawing of an adolescent girl. She is the perfect partner: she never argues with him, she’s 100% faithful, and she’s machine washable. He says that, unlike his previous girlfriend, she is loving, committed, and half polyester. And there’s nothing he […]
Tuesday, August 04 The world’s longest golf course will be finished at Ceduna. The only way to get a hole-in-one is to airlift the ball to the other end. The world’s longest golf course will be finished at Ceduna. One day, I hope to hit a hole-in-58. The world’s longest golf course will be finished […]
Primary school students in Tokyo are being taught by a robot. It’s great for maths, not so hot for phys ed. The robo-teacher even gets angry when the kids misbehave. And unlike human teachers, it can exterminate them. It can discipline children, organise tasks, call the roll, and spin around shrieking “DOES NOT COMPUTE” – […]
British scientists have developed a virtual reality helmet that recreates all five senses. At long last you can live life without actually being there! The helmet recreates the sights, sounds, smells and even tastes of the original experience. Now, no-one will ever have to actually go anywhere ever again! They call it Real Virtuality. It’s […]
Scientists are developing an artificial nose that will be able to detect the smell of fear, sniff for stress, and create olfactory “fingerprints” of suspects. Unfortunately the machine refuses to work until the scientists have a good long shower, change their shoes, and have a couple of extremely strong mints. Scientists are developing a device […]
The solution to the world’s urban transportation problems could be a new high tech electric automated dual-wheel person-carrying machine. Or we could all just use our bikes. The Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility project imagines vehicles with access to a vast communications network, allowing them to automatically interact, monitor traffic, and prevent crashes. Or we […]
I actually discovered this site by accident. And boy was I disappointed. / I’d meant to visit “Prostitute This Arse” dot com. / “Pay For Anal Sex” dot org. / “Have Anal Sex With Me For Cash” dot net. You don’t want to make any typos – PimpThisMum is a very different site… The organisers […]
A charter boat deckhand trying to make a group of California schoolchildren laugh has choked to death on a bait fish. He was pronounced dead in hospital, and thrown back. A charter boat deckhand choked to death putting a bait fish into his mouth to make 20 school children laugh. Sure, he died, but the […]