It’s been a typical Aussie summer so far, full of rolling blackouts, melting railways, sharks, spiders, snakes, crocs, jellyfish & foreigners winning the tennis. Only this summer, they won the cricket as well. Oh well. There’s always getting drunk. As Melbourne suffered their worst heatwave in history, their train system completely melted down, causing thousands […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
The Federal Government has announced a tougher anti-racism program to replace the decade-old Living in Harmony program. The new program will be given the more accurate title of Living with Bigotry. / Tolerating Bigotry. / Intolerance of Intolerance. The Living in Harmony day made people feel either that it was either an unrealistic goal, or […]
The latest report from the Council of Wowsers Telling You Hedonists That You’re All Doomed says that any more than four standard drinks – or two per day regularly – puts you at higher risk of alcohol-related injury. Looks like the nanny state’s been given the keys to the liquor cabinet. The National Health and […]
Kevin Rudd just can’t stop throwing money at us. It’s good though, those poker machines won’t feed themselves. Kevin Rudd announced a 3.8 billion fund for insulation, hoping to insulate us from the global recession. See what I did there? Kevin Rudd gave up on the whole idea of budget surpluses and decided to see […]
Nigerian police are holding a goat on charges of armed robbery, because witnesses have claimed it’s actually a man who transformed himself through black magic. Either that or the guy is still hiding behind the goat. A group of vigilantes came upon some men trying to break into a Mazda 323, but when they gave […]
Sydney scientists have discovered that locusts are ordinarily shy and only turn into ravaging swarms when serotonin is released when they are forced together, creating a state similar to that a human experiences when on ecstasy. So your average locust is actually a high-cust. The elevated levels of serotonin makes these pests accumulate en masse, […]
A pair of New Zealand criminals have been involved in one of the worst escape attempts ever, when, handcuffed to one another, they wrapped themselves around a pole. Sure, they didn’t escape, but they won a camera on Australia’s Funniest Prison Videos. The police arrested them after battering them with rubber truncheons and a prolonged […]
A Russian man has had part of his penis bitten off after an ill-fated attempt to rape a raccoon. It was an honest mistake – he thought it was a beaver. But you know raccoons – they’re such cockteases. Of course, it was a female raccoon – he’s no pervert. The guy’s not complaining – […]
Tues, Feb. 10 Tomorrow’s the Israeli election. Vote the right way or else! Tomorrow sees the election in Israel. Hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but you know they’ve always got it rigged so that a Jew will win. Tomorrow, the 2009 Australian Disasters Conference will be held in Canberra, where they’ll talk about […]
It was the year: Kevin Rudd apologised to the stolen generations. And Brendan Nelson told us why it was just tough love. Kevin Rudd apologised to the stolen generations. Or as Brendan Nelson preferred to phrase it, the borrowed-with-the-best-intentions generations. Kevin Rudd apologised to the stolen generations. And Brendan Nelson apologised for having to apologise. […]