A new, virtual strip search machine is being trialled in Australian airports, which allows security staff to see travellers’ breasts and genitals. Although not their faces – that would be rude. People won’t be able to be recognised, as their faces will be blurred. Although there is still the chance that one of the operators […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
A Lebanese trade union is planning to sue Israel for claiming Arab cuisine as their own. They say Jews stealing other people’s foods and culture is just not kosher. Well if the Arabs don’t want the Jews to take their food, they shouldn’t have made it kosher. Looks like the next war in the Middle […]
The credit crunch and smoking ban have resulted in the revival of the dead art of snorting snuff! Unfortunately the habit is so little seen these days, it has caused some tragic accidents when some kids tried snorting snuff films. The new craze not only saves you money, but it means you don’t have to […]
A tiny Texan school has armed its teachers to protect students from crazed gunmen. Because as usual, the best way to prevent shootings is to stock up on guns. Because the only thing that could possibly be safer than kids with guns is teachers with guns. And, when the massacre happens, they can pick off […]
Two pigeons have been captured near an Iranian nuclear enrichment facility, and are being accused of being spies. They could tell they weren’t from nearby – all the local birds are hideously deformed. / are radioactive mutants. The Iranians know they’re spies. A little birdy told them. The pigeons are definitely spies. The Iranian’s undercover […]
British parents are disturbed by a children’s doll that appears to say “Islam is the light” and “Satan is King”. Hang on, is it meant to be Muslim or Satanic? Clearly this doll is religiously conflicted. / still spiritually immature. Parents are disturbed by a children’s doll that appears to say “Islam is the light” […]
A major LA porn studio is looking for a Sarah Palin look-alike to play Palin in an adult film. Because before you vote for the next leader of the free world, you want to fantasise about screwing her. That’s sure to get more folks rootin’ for her! And to think those nasty lefties are saying […]
Tues, Oct. 28 Tomorrow, it’s Czech Republic Day. But just to save you the trouble, I have checked, and it is indeed republic day. Tomorrow’s Czech Republic Day. At least, I think it is – I’ll have to Czech… The Future City Transport summit will be held tomorrow. Wow, that is in the future! Tomorrow […]
New research shows Australian drivers are showing all-time high levels of aggression, with acts of revenge increasingly popular. So everyone please, before you go out on the roads, remember to take out your aggression on a family member. Australians are angry drivers. But, to put it into context, that’s only because we’re all pissed. / […]
Queensland’s Surf Life Saving association is offering an alternative to budgie smugglers in boardshorts, in order to keep young people in the sport. They’re also emphasising that it’s a sport, rather than boring old saving lives. Lifesavers not wearing budgie smugglers? It’s unAustralian! But now how will we know they’re lifesavers? If they’re wearing board […]