Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has released an instructional judo DVD. Putin’s a black belt in judo – in fact he’s never been defeated. At least not by anyone still alive. As if Putin wasn’t scary enough already. Not only is Putin a master at Judo, he’s also great at Ludo, Cluedo, and Uno, too. […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
Furore has erupted over the revelation that controversial photographer Bill Henson was allowed access to primary school grounds without parental permission. But apparently it had proven very difficult to track down his parents. Because there’s nothing worse than young children being exposed to someone whose work is on the curriculum. Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull […]
With the U.S. Presidential election just a few weeks away, things are getting ugly, with Republicans attacking Barack Obama for past associations and Democrats threatening to retaliate. Well! I never thought I’d see the day where politicians began attacking their opponents! Republican vice-presidential candidate and pitbull-with-lipstick Sarah Palin said Obama “pals around with terrorists”. Apparently […]
Internet gaming sites are using kindergarten kids in marketing material for more PC gambling terminals in clubs. The campaign acts as a reminder to venue operators that once patrons have run out of money they can still gamble their children. / can still take their first-borns. The marketing materials feature pictures of kindy-age kids, or […]
Researchers at Harvard have discovered that risky financial investments are linked to above-average levels of testosterone. No wonder the stock market’s such a cock-up. / balls-up. / totally rooted. / thoroughly fucked. Masculine features like prominent jaws and cheekbones are also related to irrational risk taking. If you are looking for a safe investment, choose […]
When Tom and Kerry Watts got married in Norwich, they had their dream wedding cake – a 20 kilogram cheeseburger. And when they left the chapel, everyone threw fries. So beautiful. It was a wedding with the lot. And the champagne was watered-down and filled to the brim with ice. An English couple had as […]
Serbian chef Ljubomir Erovic has brought out a new multimedia cookbook entirely consisting of testicle recipes. At last – I’m so sick of eating them raw. His balls are amazing. And his recipes aren’t bad either. Testes are delicious! And self-saucing! / The best thing about cooking with testicles is they’re self-saucing. His recipes are […]
Tues, Oct. 14 On Tuesday, Wayne Carey will face U.S. court for assaulting police. His best chance, and it’s a long shot, is to try to convince the courts it was actually Jim Carrey. Wayne Carey will trial in the U.S. for assaulting police, but his defence will collapse when he attacks the judge. / […]
In the lead up to the Olympics, Chinese officials have closed down bars and clubs, expelled prostitutes and clamped down on entertainment. Because they want to show the world a Beijing just as dull as the world expects. Because the last thing you want at an Olympic Games is entertainment. In the lead up to […]
Just days before the Beijing Olympics, evidence has emerged of a massive doping trade in China. So the good news is there should be heaps of world records! Well, China may have banned late-night fun, foreign reporters, eating dogs, prostitution, and being black or Mongolian, but at least you can still dope. And, even harder […]