Airlines are taking drastic measures to save weight and cut fuel costs, thinking even of cutting back on plastic cutlery. Yeah, maybe instead of that heavyweight plastic cutlery they can make knives and forks out of paper. Or feathers. To reduce weight on planes, some airlines are thinking of scrapping their knives and forks, and, […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
Australian Olympians are being offered a special kit to help them protest against China’s involvement in Tibet. The pack includes a T-shirt bearing the slogan “I support human rights” in English and Mandarin, though it’s unfortunately not bullet proof. The pack includes a T-shirt bearing the slogan “I support human rights” in English and Mandarin, […]
A body-building competition has generated controversy when they recently let a bikini-clad 10 year-old girl enter. Community groups are up in arms – body-building could ruin all her chances of being a lingerie model. / body-building could ruin all her chances of looking totally hot. There’s nothing wrong with young girls flexing their abs in […]
An apt Darwin Award nominee: a Catholic priest died after grabbing a karaoke microphone while dripping wet. Onlookers said they’d never heard such a passionate performance. At first, onlookers didn’t realise he’d been electrocuted, they just thought it was an excellent Ian Curtis impersonation. / Johnny Rotten impersonation. It was bloody good version of “She’s […]
The sack race has been given the sack and the three-legged race run out of town, with a British primary school dropping the events from a sports day to minimise risk. The egg-and-spoon race is still allowed, despite suggestions that it was unfair on the poor little eggs. / The egg-and-spoon race is still allowed […]
112 Beijing restaurants have been ordered to keep dog off their menus for the duration of the Olympics so as not to offend Westerners. But that’s why most Westerners go to China in the first place! 112 Beijing restaurants have been ordered to keep dog off their menus for the duration of the Olympics so […]
China’s Olympics organisers are primed to mobilise an army of up to 37,000 people to ensure that rain doesn’t ruin the opening ceremony. If rain looks like it’s threatening, they all look up at the clouds and blow. FFFFFFFFF! The Chinese Weather Modification Bureau has 37,000 personnel, 30 aircraft, and 6781 anti-aircraft guns. In case […]
Mon, August 04 Barack Obama turns 47. There’s no way he can be senile enough to be President. It’s 150 years since first game of Aussie rules, and 149 years since they decided it would be even better with a ball. / though back then it was more like Aussie no-rules. Tues, August 05 Tomorrow, […]
And the big news? Sharks! Friendly, lovable, cuddly sharks! The papers have been full of feel-good stories about the terror of the deep. For instance there was this shark that we humans saved… That’s the last time he’ll be swallowing a poledancer. They only had two choices really – either save the shark and pull […]
The government is launching a new advertising campaign to promote awareness of their Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme. Of course like all government advertising, the ads are 100% content-free. The Government has just launched its new emissions-trading information campaign. It’s a picture of a tree with the words “Emissions Trading Is Good”. Clearly the government has […]