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Good News Week

Expensive Mime (GNW 9/11/09: Warren)

Australians are paying up to $1500 for tickets to see Britney Spears mime. She’ll be doing all her hits, like “Oops!… I’m Walking Against The Wind” and “If You Seek The Exit To This Glass Box That Would Be Very Helpful”. People don’t mind seeing her mime. In fact, one of the chief attractions of […]

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Good News Week

PMS(L) (GNW 9/11/09: Warren)

A new study is suggesting that there could be a secret weapon in combating pre-menstrual stress: men! That must explain why men never get it! A new study is suggesting that there could be a secret weapon in combating pre-menstrual stress: men! And here we were thinking we were the cause of it. Traditonally, men […]

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Good News Week

Drunk Driving Breathalyser (GNW 9/11/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

In Ohio, an 18-year-old who went to a Halloween costume dressed as a breathalyser, was arrested for drink-driving. It’s what’s known as asking for trouble. James Miller blew 0.158, but he said it was unfair, as he was only reading 0.02. The man’s blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit. Clearly, a bunch […]

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Good News Week

CPR Dog (GNW 9/11/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

The RSPCA animal achievement award has been given to a Queensland dog who thumped her owner’s chest to rouse him after he’d suffered a massive heart attack. Jim Touzeau doesn’t know if he was actually resuscitated, or just frightened back to life. Sure, the CPR helped, but what really brought him round was the mouth […]

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Good News Week

Hobo Chic (GNW 9/11/09: Strange But True)

The newest fashion trend? Hobo chic! It’s like grunge, but smeared with crap! One designer says sometimes he sees a homeless personal “and they’ll just look so good. Or you see a little old lady and she looks awesome ‘cause she’s got something going on, you know?” Yeah, I know. She’s got poverty going on, […]

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Good News Week

Malaysian Romance (GNW 9/11/09: Strange But True)

A Malaysian state government is so concerned about rising divorce rates that they are offering classes on how to stay together. Step one: don’t get divorced. Step two: shut up and like it. A Malaysian state government is offering romance classes to help Muslim couples stay together. Is that a Lumpur in your Kuala or […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (GNW 9/11/09: closing)

Tuesday, November 10 In Canberra, Education Minister Julia Gillard will host the National Principals’ Forum, to discuss the problems & challenges facing Australian schools. The main one seems to be getting the kids to learn stuff. The Big Aussie Swap: As part of National Recycling Week, events will be held around the country where people […]

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Good News Week

Married… with bin Laden (GNW 2/11/09: monologue)

Osama bin Laden’s first wife has written a book about life with the al-Qaeda leader. bin Laden is described as a tyrant who trained his own children to be suicide bombers and murdered their pets. But he did have a softer side – he just loved to slaughter Jews. / he just loved to cuddle […]

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Good News Week

A Bunch of Emotional Tools (GNW 2/11/09: monologue)

Relationships Australia have produced a booklet for men encouraging them to treat solving problems in their relationship like a DIY project. So now we can botch our relationships like we botched the carport and the decking. Relationships Australia have produced a booklet for men encouraging them to treat solving problems in their relationship like a […]

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Good News Week

StarScreen for Sperm (GNW 2/11/09: monologue)

A Californian sperm bank is offering prospective clients the opportunity to choose donors who most resemble their favourite celebrity. Though if that’s J-Lo or Jessica Alba, you might not get what you’re after. Look-alike talent agencies are now getting into the sperm bank business, since interest is otherwise drying up in their range of lame […]