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Good News Week

World No-Being-Rude-To-Catholics Day (Good News Week 7/7/08: What’s the Story)

New powers will allow police to arrest, fine and partially strip-search Sydneysiders for causing annoyance or inconvenience to World Youth Day participants. Because World Youth Day should be a celebration of youth! Obedient, straight-laced youth! / And youth should shut up and do what they’re told. Annoyance could mean anything from wearing a T-shirt to […]

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Good News Week

Governmental code of conductzzzz (Good News Week 7/7/08: A Thousand Words)

The Rudd Government has snuck out their long-promised code of conduct for ministerial staff, just hours before sneaking off for their winter hibernation. The code spells out 21 rules for ministerial staff to follow, though specifies no penalties. But this shouldn’t be about specifying penalties, it should be about specifying scapegoats. To try to wipe […]

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Good News Week

Shot bears aren’t supposed to drown (Good News Week 7/7/08: Strange But True)

A Florida biologist has saved a wild black bear from drowning due to the effects of a tranquiliser dart. Exactly how a tranquiliser dart caused him to save a bear, is still uncertain. Adam Warwick loves nothing more than stripping off and diving into icy lakes to rescue giant carnivores. That’s why all his mates […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (Good News Week 7/7/08: closing)

Tues, July 08 Nicole Kidman could give birth any day now, and this time she’s allowed to make noise! / her first completely human birth. Nicole Kidman is due to give birth soon. They’re hoping it’ll be a man-kid. The Australian Teachers Education conference will be held on the Sunshine Coast, confusing many of the […]

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Good News Week

Out of web addresses (Good News Week 30/6/08: monologue)

Oh no! The world is running out of internet addresses! By 2010 there’ll be no more addresses available on the present network and new users will have to be use the slightly older, tin-can-and-twine-ernet. / and new users will have to actually talk to each other. / and new users will have to actually talk […]

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Good News Week

Drunk and high at work (Good News Week 30/6/08: monologue)

A survey has found 4% of Australians went to work drunk last year, and 1.6% under the influence of drugs. Of course that figure would be closer to 90% if they counted caffeine, aspirin and Viagra. Think about that when you have a cuppa tea on your smoko… What were the rest of you doing? […]

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Good News Week

iLectures (Good News Week 30/6/08: What’s the Story)

Seven Australian Universities are making lectures and research available on iTunes. This way you can download a whole course and listen to them whenever you want to sleep. / and skip all your lectures at once! Not only can you download the original lectures, but funky remixes by Paul Mac and Armin van Buren! Seven […]

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Good News Week

Spiking your petrol (Good News Week 30/6/08: What’s the Story)

Authorities are thinking of introducing tougher measures to prevent petrol “drive-offs”, including pre-paying for all petrol or even introducing road spikes at service stations. The spikes would cost a lot to install, but you not only get all your petrol paid for, you also sell a hell of a lot more tyres. Petrol stations are […]

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Good News Week

Bush will get his man (Good News Week 30/6/08: Perfect Match)

George W Bush is making a renewed effort to catch Osama bin Laden before leaving office. Come on, surely he doesn’t still believe bin Laden is real. George W Bush is making a renewed effort to catch Osama bin Laden before leaving office. Because, otherwise all he leaves history is an unwinnable war and a […]

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Good News Week

Brokeback Opera (Good News Week 30/6/08: Perfect Match)

Brokeback Mountain is being adapted into musical form. As if it wasn’t gay enough. / It just wasn’t gay enough. Because the one complaint that the homosexual lobby had with the film version was that you couldn’t sing along. Because the unspoken bond that develops between two strong silent types will sound just fabulous in […]