An Israeli rabbi has declared giraffe to be kosher. He was forced to after a day at the zoo when he just couldn’t help himself. An Israeli rabbi has declared giraffe to be kosher. He had to explain all the giraffe-skeletons somehow… Giraffes are Kosher. And delicious. Lucky – you know blintzes are actually mainly […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
Men are being recommended to do pelvic floor exercises to cure impotence. And women are recommended to do them along with the men just in case they cure to the point of conception. The idea is ludicrous. There’s no way men are going to do something called “exercise” when they could just pop a pill. […]
The Australian government is considering changing its terror alert system to one which is specific to particular locations or industries. High-risk industries for terrorism might include transport and politics, and low-risk industries include latex wholesalers, worm-farms and terrorist training schools. / aged care, garbage collection and pig farming. The terrorism alert level has been set […]
The Government continues to ask the public for any ideas on where they should cut funding. I’m thinking we cut a bit more from Government wages, seeing as we’re doing all the work! They’re calling on voters to get involved in the decision-making. Of course, you don’t get paid. And you don’t get to sit […]
Well waddya know. Australia is proud home to the earliest known animal that had sex, a 375 million year old shark-like creature. That’s right, ancient Aussie fish were makin’ whoopee. Although, underwater, it’s more like “whblooblpeebl”. The 375 million year old fossil shows a fish with an embryo and umbilical cord attached. Not only does […]
The Pope’s chief bodyguard has been in Sydney, checking out sites for the Pope’s World Youth Day appearances. The Pope needs a bodyguard – it’s not like he can rely on protection from God. He’s the only bodyguard with an earpiece to God. He prays by earpiece. He’s head of an organisation of burly gents […]
Hungover Japanese workers are turning to an intravenous drip to get them through the workday. It costs as little as 20 bucks for an intravenous pick-me-up, and in fact it’s also the cheapest way to get drunk the night before. Nothing says “hard worker” better than trackmarks. / bruised veins. The Japanese are famous for […]
Islamic women are demanding equal opportunities to become suicide bombers and terrorists, after an al-Qaida leader said they should focus on being housewives. As one said, “If I have to do another load of washing, I’m going to explode!” Osama bin Laden’s right-hand man Ayman al-Zawahiri praised the wives of al-Qaida terrorists, but said their […]
A British research team has discovered a way to overcome baldness by cloning your remaining hair. The technique can also be used to raise a hair army should you have need of one. Now that’s a hair-raising scheme. Their first subject worked wonderfully – he came to a small amount of fame starring on the […]
Embattled British PM Grodon Brown is being remade as a Marvel comic book hero! Look up in the sky? Is it a lame duck? Is it a plain old politician? No, it’s SoonToBeSackedMan! With a name like Gordon Brown, excitement is sure to be just around the corner! / how could he not be a […]