A leading Australian aviation medicine specialist researching what to do with people who die onboard has recommended strapping them in, putting an eye mask over their eyes, earphones on their head and a blanket on them and leaving them to it. Unless it’s the pilot. A leading Australian aviation medicine specialist says that people who […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
A new American documentary sheds light on over 500 people who like to have sex with cars. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – so long as the car is consenting. Not surprisingly, techniques vary widely. Some like to use the exhaust pipe, some the petrol cap, while others aren’t satisfied with anything less […]
Tues, June 17 The organisers of Brisbane Institute’s “Does Money = Happiness?” lecture will be said to be very happy with their takings. The “Does Money = Happiness?” lecture at the Brisbane Institute will kick off with a paper on “Famous Stockbroker Suicides”. / a paper called “‘The Great Depression’ Was Actually Heaps Of Fun.” […]
Qantas and Jetstar have admitted that they’re flying more slowly to conserve fuel in an attempt to contain costs. They’re also saving up heaps of those 4 cents off vouchers. Of course, if they really want to minimise fuel use, they can always get the passengers to all just get out and push. To further […]
Federal MPs may be forced to trade in their luxury Holden Statesmen for green-friendly hybrid Toyota Priuses. Not only will it make the government appear to be personally committed to tackling climate change, but it stops them from getting spat on by Ford barrackers. As further proof of their commitment to reducing greenhouse emissions, from […]
Johnny Rotten wants to write a song for Britney Spears. It’s called “I’m a drugfucked skanky ho who has to get her songs written by a pratty knob who even in his heyday was a talentless twat”. Ah, it feels so good to say that. Former Sex Pistol John Lydon has said he wants to […]
A new advertising campaign is asking Australians to stop eating steak in order to combat global warming. Or if they have to eat steak, make it a solar-powered steak. Every cow produces 300 litres of methane every day. And I thought wind power was supposed to be the solution! So it’s either eat less meat, […]
Now this is a great idea. Tim Flannery reckons that to slow global warming we should fill the sky with sulphur, which will block the sun’s rays, but which might have terrible side-effects, and will change the colour of the sky. How about, instead, we all ride bikes and use solar and wind power? I […]
Tues, June 10 Tomorrow’s Centenary of rugby league gala dinner will be attended by whole flocks of galas. At the “Centenary of Rugby League” gala dinner in Brisbane, there’ll be a riot when some of the players discover salad in the buffet. / quiche in the buffet. At the “Centenary of Rugby League” gala dinner […]
Adelaide Uni scientists have found that feeding lamb on different diets can result in a unique tasting meat. Feeding them on garlic gives the meat a richer taste, and feeding them on Extra gives them a freshness burst that really lasts. Adelaide Uni scientists have found that feeding lamb on different diets can result in […]