Alice Springs police have been shocked to discover a man driving a 5-year-old child around with no seatbelt on – but with a case of beer safely buckled up. The man explained that a child can always heal – but when you lose a slab, it’s gone forever. He had a good reason though. He […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
A Swiss daredevil has flown at over 250k per hour using a home-made jet-glider. He’s like a real-life superhero! Only he can’t carry anything and criminals hear him coming from miles away. He’s like a real-life superhero – for all crimes committed in his flightpath. He’s like a real-life superhero! If you’re committing some sort […]
Secret files about UFOs have been released to the public by the British Ministry of Defence. Not only are the files full of first-hand accounts of alien creatures and strange lights in the sky, but they may explain once-and-for-all the odd behaviour of the Gallagher brothers. / the secret truth behind David Bowie. / the […]
George W Bush has claimed that he quit playing golf to show “solidarity” with American soldiers in Iraq. Because, when you’re in direct line of fire on the front line in a ground war in a foreign country, one of the very first things you give up is playing golf. (thump chest with fist) Solidarity. […]
Kevin Rudd hires a stylist. And he still looks like that. / That means his nerd-look is deliberate. He also has someone to help him look good naked. In fact it was the stylist that suggested he go to Scores. It was the stylist that helped Rudd win the election, with their strict policy of […]
A wild bear weighing in at about 180 kilograms has been discovered wandering around in a sprawling New Orleans prison complex. It’s actually part of a secret honey-smuggling racket. Apparently the bear’s been imprisoned for honey-laundering. Not only have there been bears found in the prison compound, but they’re unusually furious ones. Apparently someone ate […]
A California man says he can see the image of the Virgin Mary in his leg after a motorcycle accident. Wear a helmet, kids. Interestingly doctors have confirmed that his leg wasn’t actually injured, but the concussion is still rather nasty. Lipton believes the Virgin Mary protected him from further injury, and refuses to have […]
Mon, June 02 This week sees the UN meeting on climate change, Melbourne’s Going Green expo and World Environment Day. Phew, looks like we’re saved at last. Tues, June 03 Mabo Day will be absolutely mabolous. On Tuesday, the U.S. presidential primaries finish. Hilary will give up golf, but still not the damn campaign. With […]
The Pentagon has released plans to redevelop Iraq’s Green Zone into a $5 billion Golf and Country Club. It’s a contingency plan, just in case peace unexpectedly breaks out and they’ve got to find some other way to waste billions of dollars. Finally a way for Iraqis to spend all their excess disposable cash. / […]
The government is investigating different strategies to combat obesity, including the introduction of a “fruit and vegetables rebate”. Which is a great idea, but turns making a fruit-salad into a fiscal nightmare. / into an accountant’s wet-dream. Now, when someone makes a fruit-salad, it can take a team of accountants weeks to untangle the fiscal […]