In NSW, they’re outlawing children under 16 getting piercings without a note from their parents. Looks like it’s back to the nailgun for the toddlers. / I guess the kiddies will have to go back to self-mutilation. Children under 16 who want piercings will now need parental approval. So there goes that avenue of rebellion. […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
A Toowoomba dress-maker has chased down a stolen dress after two months, by infiltrating high-school-formals. Yes, that’s my excuse too. / Weird, we have the very same reason. / I’m still searching for my missing dress, and I’ll keep infiltrating those prom-nights until I find it. Her and her seamstress went to find the frock, […]
A story this week that sounds like total pig’s arse, but is in fact pig’s bladder. A man in the US has had part of his finger regrown from a compound made from powdered pig’s bladder. It’s good to see scientists have finally found a use for all that powdered pig’s bladder… A US man, […]
And as the dust of the Budget settles over Canberra, we can look at a familiar scene: Rudd’s the new Howard, Nelson’s the new Beazley, and Swan’s the new Costello but with an even sillier face. Any hope we might have had of a Labor government being green has been dashed by a Budget that […]
Researchers say that babies are having their development retarded by watching TV. On the other hand they do learn far more annoying jingles. So it’s a mixed bag. Most parents don’t interact with babies while they’re watching TV. Well what’s the point of TV if you have to keep interacting with the bloody kids? But […]
In the past 12 months, 728 Victorian schools have been granted temporary liquor licenses. It’s great for fund-raising, community spirit, and the Principal’s liquor cabinet. It turns out that the school spirit is whiskey. So that creepy guy hanging around your school is probably your dad on a bender. / the principal. The liquor licenses […]
Australian scientists have successfully transplanted a gene of the extinct Tasmanian Tiger into mouse-embyros, and say that, theoretically, they will one day be able to bring the Thylacine back to life. Because that might distract us from the world going to shit. Great! Now, why exactly did we need Tassie Tigers again? I don’t think […]
Church of England leaders are encouraging clergy to study Dr Who and use examples in their sermons. Seems that the old Bible stories don’t have enough lasers. / daleks. Church leaders say Dr Who is kinda like Christ, the Tardis is kinda like a church, and K-9 is kinda like the robot dog that Jesus […]
Tues, May 27 On Tuesday it’s 3 years since Schapelle Corby was convicted of drug trafficking, and she’ll drown her sorrows with a mug of filthy prison wine. It’s made from real fermented rats! It’s three years since Schapelle Corby was convicted, and Aussie backpackers everywhere will swear off marijuana and get onto untrialled experimental […]
Rudd government ministers are being charged $1300 each per annum to pay for snacks in cabinet meetings, up from $50 under the previous government. And that’s even with Kim Beazley retired. Rudd government ministers are being charged $1300 each per annum to pay for snacks in cabinet meetings. But larks’ tongues aren’t cheap. / But […]