Well, Australia is going to have its first female Governor-General, Quentin Bryce. It was actually a bit of a slip-up, Kevin Rudd never suspected Quentin was a woman. / Kevin thought Quentin was a boy’s name. I don’t reckon this is such a big step forward as it’s been made out to be – we’ve […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
Liberal Party members say Brendan Nelson’s chances of remaining as Opposition Leader will rest on his performance in response to the May 13 budget. Come on Brendan, a really good showing and you could get your preferred Prime Minister rating up into the low teens! Liberal Party members say Brendan Nelson’s chances of remaining as […]
Italy’s highest court has ruled that’s it’s a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public. That should be only for the tourists. Italy’s highest court has ruled that’s it’s a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public. The only exception is the publically-appointed Genitalissimo. And they’ve finally […]
Prince William has caused a furore by taking an RAF helicopter to a stag weekend on the Isle of Wight. Particularly when it came back tarred and feathered. / covered in shaving cream and filled with hookers and coke. Bloody hell, what’s the world coming to when a crown prince of England can’t commandeer a […]
A New Zealand man has been charged with using a hedgehog as a weapon, after hurling it at a 15 year old boy. He never intended to throw a hedgehog – he just couldn’t find his porcupine. / his boa constrictor. / his Bengal tiger. Fair enough too – the teenager had been pelting him […]
The latest taste sensation in Japan: Vegemite! Apparently it tastes sensational spread on blubber. / It puts a certain zing into boring old blubber. / Thanks to Vegemite, blubber finally tastes good! The Japanese may like Vegemite now, but just wait till they discover toast… It’s not surprising. When you’ve been raised on wasabi, Vegemite […]
A Bosnian man has had his home hit by meteorites five times since last November. That’s the last time he builds a house in the asteroid belt. / with a blackhole chimney. / out of cheap bricks from Roswell. A Bosnian man’s house has been hit by meteorites 5 separate times, which has convinced him […]
Tues, April 22 Tuesday’s Earth Day will precipitate 364 days of trashing the place. Tuesday is Earth Day. Unfortunately, there’s still no day for Uranus. To celebrate Earth Day, Queenslanders will pound amphibians with cudgels. To celebrate Earth Day, aliens have prepared a really big meteorite to chuck at that Bosnian guy. Tomorrow our tormented […]
A man described as Australia’s biggest nerd has had a microchip, which automatically opens his front door, injected into his left arm. Unfortunately when the system breaks down he has to have his arm replaced. / he has to call an armsmith. / an arms dealer. A man described as Australia’s biggest nerd has had […]
Scientists have invented an “intelligent” pair of glasses that help people remember where they left things and recognise faces. Now if only I could remember where I put them… They’re aimed at helping people with dementia feel that little bit more like freaks. The glasses could revolutionise the lives of people suffering from memory problems […]