According to the US military, Iraqi prisoners of war are choosing to stay in captivity to complete their studies. And they actually love the regular beatings! Turns out most of the Iraqi insurgency are actually only in it for the educational opportunities. And they’re not being tortured – it’s just corporal punishment. And not only […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
Italian police are hunting for a rogue hypnotist who’s been hypnotising cashiers and bank tellers into handing over cash. He’s becoming more daring, in the last bank job stealing over $1300 and turning the teller into a chicken. In all cases, the cashiers don’t realise anything’s wrong until they discover there’s money missing from the […]
A repeat offending drunk-driver refuses to appear in court or speak to lawyers because he believes he is God. He first suspected it when he woke up one morning and everything was void and without form. The Courier Mail’s report on the incident included the line “Howarth genuinely believed he was God, pictured“. Well there […]
To get around a ban on smoking, Minnesota bars are renaming into “theatres”, with their staff and customers as “actors”. Throwing up in the toilets is known as “fluffing your lines”. / “giving a bad review”. The smoking ban doesn’t apply to theatrical productions, so the pubs renaming themselves is the easiest way of stopping […]
A party-goer choked to death during a contest to see who could eat the most fairy cakes. But on the plus side, he won! A party-goer choked to death on 5 fairy cakes during an eating competition. Poor guy, he didn’t even win. The winner choked to death on 7 fairy cakes. The death was […]
Doritos are planning to beam an ad into space, to a solar system 42 light years away. Obviously Earth-trade is not what it once was. This is the dumbest idea ever. Don’t they know aliens prefer CC’s? / only eat pretzels? You’re never going to attract aliens with an ad for corn chips. Sour cream […]
New Zealand authorities busted a woman for brewing ginger beer. Police were called after security guards stumbled across what appeared to be an illegal drug lab, but it turned out to be for making non-alcoholic ginger beer. Top quality stuff – street value 200 bucks an ounce. A woman inside the house told police the […]
An Amsterdam council have decreed to clamp down on dogs off leads in one of the city’s most famous parks, while allowing couples to have sex. Yes, public sex is now allowed in the park, but not if it’s doggy-style. And dogs are allowed to have sex only if they’re on a lead. Of course, […]
Tues, April 15 In Adelaide, the Water Down Under 2008 conference will discuss rainfall modelling, stochastic hydrology and who left the tap on. 10 years since Pol Pot died, and they’re still searching for his henchmen, Sammy Saucepan and Frankie Fondue Set. Wed, April 16 Robert Downey Jr. will be in Sydney to attend the […]
Two dogs who saved a toddler from drowning have been presented with a bravery award from Queensland Premier Anna Bligh, and, as a special reward, have been fed the toddler. / now get to eat the kid. Two dogs who saved a toddler from drowning have been presented with a bravery award from Queensland Premier […]