On May 31, Copenhagen is hosting a Masturbate-A-Thon, which organisers hope will help break lingering taboos about self-love. Wouldn’t it be catchier to call it a Wankathon? We’ll tell you more news about the event as it comes to hand… Last time the “mingle” rooms had to be closed down when all the horny men […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
REMINDERS Right now, the Oscars are on, and Paris Hilton is still banned from attending. She’s probably still crying “hot, salty tears” – well, we have to assume they’re tears. Her cheeks were certainly covered in something hot and salty. On Wednesday, Ben Cousins is going to be getting the crap beaten out of him […]
Yes, these are a week late… but you see some of them related to this week’s stories. See we often tape two episodes at a time and then replace the end jokes of the second episode with more up to date ones just before they go to air. If that sounds confusing, good, it’s probably […]
PM Kevin Rudd is calling for a more respectful Parliament. He hopes that, if the politicians respect each other, there’s some chance that the general populace might one day respect politicians. The language of parliament will be changed: instead of referring to each other as “loathsome maggots” and “lying weasels”, they’ll have to call each […]
The US military claims children as young as 10 are being trained by al-Qaeda as killers. It’s “Jihad Trek: The Next Generation”. Their recruiting technique is to ask “Hey little boy, want to play soldiers in the world’s biggest sandpit?” Al Qaida has been recruiting boys as young as ten to use as suicide bombers […]
A new study shows what families have known all along – that a woman about to give birth loses a significant amount of her memory. Otherwise, she’d never do it again. A new study shows what families have known all along – that a pregnant woman loses a significant amount of her memory. But this […]
Oliver Stone wants to make a film about George W Bush. It’s a tale about a guy who went from being “an alcoholic bum to the most powerful figure in the world”. And why that’s such a good idea. / And why that was such a bad idea. / And how you can’t teach an […]
Prince Charles has appeared as a hologram, addressing the World Future Energy Summit. It’s what’s known as a VR system: Virtual Royalty. In showing his commitment to reducing his carbon footprint, Prince Charles addressed the World Future Energy Summit as a hologram. In fact his holographic self had no footprints at all… He urged them, […]
Controversy has erupted over Brendan Nelson’s qualified support for an apology to the stolen generations. Well, he’s a doctor, he should be able to flout his qualifications. / With all the things the Liberals represent that are worth apologising for, some would say he’s overqualified. Several Liberals didn’t turn up for the apology at all. […]
Apparently, for the first six months of her relationship with Paul McCartney, Heather Mills was having an affair with an Aussie. She loved having someone with an intimate knowledge of Downunder. Sydney film editor Tim Steel has revealed that Heather was “insatiable”, and that he was her “four-times-a-night-guy”. Yeah, well, let’s hear it from Heather, […]