The new Australian citizenship test has dropped questions about Australian sporting heroes. Don Bradman still gets a mention as the “greatest cricketer of all time”, but now that’s only in the pledge. Unfortunately it’s meant a drop in citizenship applications, as many people just wanted to live here for the cricket trivia. Instead of cricket […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
Afghanistan’s fraudulent election win for President Harmid Karzai will be put to the test in a run-off election in November against chief rival Abdullah Abdullah. The United Nations said that the election result was so clearly fraudulent and unreliable that they could only eliminate 34 of the 36 candidates. Hamid Karzai says he’s confident he […]
“ABC News Breakfast” host Virginia Trioli was forced to make an apology to Nationals Senator Barnaby Joyce after being caught on camera pulling a face and twirling her finger loony-style. It’s all a terrible misunderstanding. That’s actually sign language for “Barnaby”. / “Coalition”. / “Politician”. And you should see the faces she pulls when she’s […]
In the 13 months since Australia’s first Governor-General Quentin Bryce was sworn in, more than a third of her 85 staff have left. Those Government House guys just can’t stand a chick telling them what to do. Except the Queen, God save ’er. 30 of Government House’s 85 staff have left since Bryce became the […]
Shoefiti is back! Sydney is seeing a renaissance in the trend of throwing shoes over powerlines. It’s like graffiti, but much harder to paint over! / but also gets rid of unwanted shoes. It’s usually done with sneakers, as it’s really hard to get the balance right with a pair of Blundstones. Shoefiti is a […]
The Government is divided on whether a bounty should be paid for every boat or asylum seeker stopped by Indonesian authorities. The Indonesians are hoping it will be adopted, as they have plenty of their own boats they’re just dying to stop. The Government is divided on whether a bounty should be paid for every […]
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is taking his media control to the world, setting up a taskforce to monitor foreign news and bombard global newsrooms with good news about Italy. But doesn’t he realise? The sex scandals ARE good news – we all want a leader we can laugh at! Silvio’s planning to spread good […]
Madonna is the subject of a lawsuit being brought by her neighbours who have been forced to listen to her rehearsing. They’re suing the manager of the apartment block, since the judge is less likely to own any of his albums. / since they refuse to sue Madonna. She’s the greatest! Madonna has defended herself, […]
Brazilian waxing is now being offered in a whole new place – your nostrils. It’s called getting a Nazilian. Although without nasal hair, you’ve got no protection against dust and colds. So your unsightly nasal hair will be replaced by a far more attractive snot moustache. You can easily tell people who’ve had the nasal-hair-removing […]
A Northern Territory couple were sprung having sex in the back of a paddy wagon while being taken to a cop station. You’re getting to home in the back of a divvy van! They were arrested for drunk-and-disorderly behaviour, or as they called it, getting to second base. “You’re going down in the back of […]