NSW Opposition Leader Peter Debnam has pledged to introduce laws so that Ministers who underperform will be docked $55,000. Of course they plan to repeal it if they actually win Government… Ministers will have their pay heavily reduced unless they can demonstrate they’ve stacked at least one branch, accepted their minimum amount of kickbacks, and […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
Tim Freedman of The Whitlams has boycotted playing for Australian troops in Iraq. Shame, really – he could have rewritten “Blow Up The Pokies” as “Blow Up Iraqis”. Freedman was asked but decided not to go because he didn’t agree with the war. Besides which, not one Whitlams album has even charted in Iraq. As […]
A new study of six to twelve year olds has found that their top fears now include bombs and terrorists, which wasn’t the case 20 years ago. Probably the same with adults come to think of it. Even in a world of terrorists and warfare though, kids are still most scared of being hit by […]
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Cow accents (The Glass House 4/10/06)
Irish farmers are claiming cows have accents, causing debate at the “World’s Most Beautiful Cow” contest. Farmers say most people can’t hear the accents, but they herd them clearly… herd, geddit? It’s obvious isn’t it? Irish cows go “Moo”, whereas English cows go “Moo”. Couldn’t be more different. There are several distinct cow accents here […]
Last week’s Newsweek covers (even more ironic given that this week’s US one reads “The Price of Denial”…) It’s a disgrace! Right across the world people are being denied the critical facts about Annie Liebowitz’s life! In pictures! The Afghanistan cover of Newsweek had the same picture, but the headline read “Hail to our Glorious […]
A 103 year old woman has been excused from jury duty because it would interfere with her afternoon nap. Really? I think she’s taking this jury duty thing too seriously. Well that’s ironic. I used my jury duty to catch up on sleep. Hey, the guy looked guilty; I didn’t need to hear all that […]
CIA agents are taking out insurance to protect them against law suits lodged against them for human rights abuses and torture. Hang on – is this insurance available to Al Qaeda agents too? Because otherwise it’s just not fair. Al Qaeda are taking out similar insurance, to cover claims of torture, human rights abuses, and […]
VANSTONE VS BEAZLEY Amanda Vanstone has accused Kim Beazley of being racist. She also accused him of being overweight, irritating and wearing ugly dresses. Beazley has backed the Shadow Immigration Minister’s comments on temporary migration workers from “Bombay, Beijing and Beirut” undercutting “Aussie” workers. But he’s not really being racist – it’s more wageist. Kim […]
Channels Nine and Seven are at each others’ throats about Naomi Robson and the Today Tonight crew’s expulsion from Indonesia. Channel Seven claims it was doing the right thing, Channel Nine claims Channel Seven are liars, and Channel Ten responded by replaying an old episode of The Simpsons. Naomi and her crew say they were […]
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Pony doping (The Glass House 20/9/06)
The mother of an 11 year old British Show Jumping contestant has been accused of doping rival horses to help her son to victory. What a brilliant plan! Even if he didn’t come first in the field, she could disqualify all the other ponies in the drug tests! Mrs Kim Baudains was seen feeding “mints” […]