The IR laws continue to cause a stink, with 21 year old mining worker Lorissa Stevens being sacked for refusing to sign an AWA. The mining company’s furious – if only she’d signed the AWA, they could have sacked her for no reason instead… She was sacked from the mining job, which means her chances […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
The Liberal Party and the ALP have joined forces to teach our Pacific neighbours the noble art of democracy. Sign up for The Global Democracy Program and you could turn your bombing and looting villagers into Parliamentarians! The program is aimed at the islands in what the Government calls the “arc of instability”. They’re aiming […]
Russian tennis-ball-hitting-person Dmitry Tursunov faces a large fine and possibly suspension after a series of attacks on umpire Fergus Murphy: clubbing the ball at his chair, trying to pull him out of the chair when shaking the ump’s hand, and later comparing him to Saddam Hussein. But at least he’s not a sore loser. At […]
A new $51 billion Defence spending plan includes $50 million earmarked for psychological warfare. The other $50.95 billion is being spent on regular bombing-the-shit-out-of-people warfare. One psychological technique being advocated involves putting your gun away, and giving your enemy a cupcake. Who could resist? The psychological warfare includes propaganda and media control. Which strangely enough […]
Channel Seven and the Australian Olympic Committee are up in arms about plans to hold the swimming events at the Beijing Olympics in the morning to allow them to be screened in American prime time. But they shouldn’t worry about the ratings dropping; as the World Cup is proving, Australians are always happy to pull […]
A global politeness survey has found that Sydney ranks among the rudest cities of the 35 surveyed, well below cities like New York, Paris and Auckland. Yeah, well those dickslaps can get rooted. Anyone who thinks Sydney is rude can go and get farked. Sydney is in general much ruder than other cities due to […]
Buddhist monk patriarch Non Nget has warned Cambodia’s 40,000 Buddhist monks that they risk being defrocked if they make noise or cheer during the World Cup. Lucky Cambodia didn’t qualify and they can remain neutral. Buddhist monks traditionally lead a life of quiet contemplation, which is ideal preparation for sitting out a nil-all draw. (calm […]
IMMIGANTS STAY AWAY It’s an all-in brawl amongst the Libs over whether or not to process asylum seekers on Nauru. Wilson Tuckey was disgusted that some of his colleagues might want “people from all over the world” living in their street. They like to keep it nice and pure over there in White Supremacist Avenue. […]
The trailer for the new movie Superman Returns has inspired a lot of talk about the parallels between Superman and Jesus Christ. If only Pontius Pilate had’ve stocked up on kryptonite he could’ve avoided that tedious crucifixion… The similarities abound: – He can only be killed by crucifixionite, – His enemy is Lex Lucifor, and […]
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Heaveno (The Glass House 21/6/06)
An American Christian group has decided the word ‘hello’ is a Satanic greeting, and has launched a campaign to replace it with the more Godly ‘Heaveno’. They’re also replacing ‘Goodbye’ with ‘Godbewithyou’ and ‘How you doing?’ with ‘All praise the Lord Almighty, Hallelujah you doing.’ ‘Hello’ will be ‘heaveno’, shells will be ‘sheavens’, and ‘devilled […]