Bob the Builder is being used to promote home insulation as a weapon against climate change at a European energy ministers meeting. At last they’re putting climate change in language that even politicians can understand! The move represented an acknowledgement of the severity of the climate change predicament. As the British Energy Minister said, “We […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
The shooting of a new sex scene featuring Halle Berry and Bruce Willis is said to be lacking just one thing – Bruce Willis. Berry had to writhe around solo while a tape of Willis’ voice was played; Bruce will be spliced into the scene later via computer. Apparently Willis “couldn’t make the shoot”. Now […]
A German radio DJ, Lady Ray, has been sacked for dressing too sexily on air. Fair enough too. I mean short skirts are one thing but actually dressing on air is going too far. She should have taken a leaf out of Aussie radio’s book, and been undressing on air. Her radio career’s over but […]
A late French butcher has left his house and land to the local council on condition that they be used to prepare for the communist revolution. That’s right, it’s a communist plot! Of land. The council has agreed to immediately take steps towards communism; they’ve forced peasants to till the man’s land so they can […]
NON-WARLIKE Australian soldiers fighting in the East Timor conflict have been told they aren’t due combat pay because the conflict isn’t “warlike” enough. Apparently, they’re just “on holiday” with guns. The soldiers are pissed off that they’re not at war – now if they kill someone, it’s just plain old murder. OK, so the East […]
Football players of both AFL and NRL codes are taking the biff off-field, with assault charges being laid left right and centre. These guys should know that you’re not allowed to punch the public! Hip-and-shoulder only. Fortunately one fight didn’t progress too far when a New Zealand rugby star broke up a fight by whacking […]
A new version of Land of Hope and Glory intended to unite the English behind their World Cup soccer team has been recorded by a flock of sheep. Of course you can’t understand the lyrics – those sheep have a really thick accent / they’re always using Cockney rhyming slang. The singing’s not great, but […]
German authorities are baffled after an entire rollercoaster was stolen from a parked truck. Police are on the lookout for a guy with a really bulky overcoat… Police are asking for people to come forward if they’ve seen any suspicious looking Luna Parks suddenly spring up in their area. You have to be this tall […]
When a German woman wasn’t able to pay for her petrol, she left behind her friend as a deposit. Well, it was bound to happen: new friends are less than a dollar twenty a litre! The friend had the last laugh though – the driver had left her with her four-cents-off voucher. She had a […]
The new boss of the troubled Immigration Department hires a $1000-an-hour personal motivator to help him do his job. Of course he needs a motivator; it’s such an immoral, cruel, child-hating job, no-one could just do it for the money… “Look, do you think it’s easy locking children up and sending mentally-ill people off to […]