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Glass House

Addictive Theatre (cut from The Glass House 7/6/06)

Melburnians are spending $15,000 funding a radio play written by accused criminals to explore their drug and alcohol addictions. The participants each received $500 cash and as much booze as they could carry. The scheme is a way of building self-confidence and helping the addicts find employment. Because there’s no shortage of positions for playwrights! […]

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Glass House

Wil’s monologue (The Glass House 31/5/06)

2 CENTS FOR YOUR SOUL Under the new IR laws, workers have been asked to sign away penalty rates, leave loading and rest breaks for a hefty 2 cents per hour compensation. John Howard says they are contributing to “the general health of the economy”. Although, being only 2 cents, it’s mainly contributing to the […]

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Glass House

Screwing with the Chimps (The Glass House 31/5/06)

New research suggests that human beings and chimps may have interbred for four million years before finally separating genetically. Humans and chimps getting it on – that’s disgusting! Baboons are so much sexier… It’s their shiny blue inflatable arses that do it for me. Chimps and humans are said to have exchanged genes for up […]

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Glass House

Dancing with the Miners (The Glass House 31/5/06)

Thanks to their exclusive deal with Channel Nine, miner celebrities Brant Webb and Todd Russell have passed up on opportunity to participate in Dancing With the Stars. Now that would’ve been worth seeing: “Next up, Brant Webb and Todd Russell with a dance step of their own invention, which they call The Crap in a […]

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Glass House

Lord of the Tribes (The Glass House 31/5/06)

Two 26 year old Brits are hoping to turn a remote Fijian island into a tribal community, basing it on backpacking culture. And we all know there’s nothing more tribal than a bunch of British backpackers… The plan is to fund the island via 5000 online tribe members who then get voting and visiting rights […]

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Glass House

The VOICE of fake jewellery (The Glass House 31/5/06)

A local group of desperate housewives have hatched a cunning scheme: they get their hubbies to buy them jewellery which they then swap for cheap fakes, pocketing the change. Unfortunately their scheme came undone when one of them traded in their hubby’s BMW for a cardboard copy. The husband spotted the ruse when he got […]

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Glass House

Chopperopoly (The Glass House 24/5/06)

A new board game has gone on sale based on the life of Chopper Read. Mochopperly! All the squares say “Go To Jail”… It’s a competetive game; every time you get sent to gaol, you get stabbed. Roll a six and you lose a toe. The Community Chest is covered in tattoos… One card says, […]

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Glass House

Funless existence (The Glass House 24/5/06)

A new report has found that nearly two-thirds of Australians think they aren’t having as much fun as they did twenty years ago. So, some ways to bring the fun back into your life: Why not fingerpaint on your Porsche? Or, for even more fun, someone else’s! Work less and earn more: become a politician! […]

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Glass House

News for Wil’s bit (The Glass House 17/5/06)

RUBBING NOSES IN WORK CHOICES Great news! The government’s decided to save our money rather than spending it on another round of Work Choices ads. They decided that another campaign would have the effect of “rubbing people’s noses in it”. And you don’t want your nose anywhere near shit like that… It’s not our noses […]

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Glass House

e-Lected Officials (The Glass House 17/5/06)

eBay are auctioning off ten political events for charity, including joining the PM for his annual cricket match. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Bodyline! (Might kill him, but it’s how he would want to go…) You can also bid for a lunch for six with Kim Beazley. If you’re lucky, he might even let […]