Australians are among the most optimistic nations – 61% of Australians feel their personal financial situation will improve. In other words 39% of Australians feel that this is as good as it gets. And we’re the optimists! 65% of Iraqis felt that their personal situation would improve. And that includes the suicide bombers. 65% of […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
With the subject of ABC advertising being raised yet again (remember to sign the petition to increase federal funding to help prevent this becoming neccessary), we were asked to submit a few of the sort of ads the ABC might show. They ended up going with the “Kim Beazley Appeal Appeal” but here are the […]
The Pentagon has developed electronic implants to enable them to turn sharks into stealth spies. Perfect for catching terrorist pilchards. These mutant sharks will be just what we need to reduce the terrorist threat in Baghdad and disarm Iran! There’ll never be another 9-11 now that we’ve got MIND-CONTROLLED SHARKS! It’s good to know that […]
“How many Americans does it take to change a totalitarian regime? At least 2000!” “Remember those mass graves? So funny!” The court pauses for an episode of Iraq’s Funniest Home Videos. The court pauses for an episode of Iraq’s Funniest Genocides. The court pauses for an episode of Everybody Loves Saddam. “Ha ha! I knew […]
IT’S WORLD WATER DAY It’s World Water Day! Make an extra effort to conserve – water your garden with beer. It’s World Water Day. Not really a cause for celebration in countries affected by tsunamis. It’s World Water Day. Give a tap a kiss. It’s World Water Day. So leave the taps on to celebrate. […]
New movies are getting more blood-soaked than ever. Films like Wolf Creek, Saw II and Hostel are even more gory than The Passion of the Christ… but you wait for Passion of the Christ 2! It’s gotten to the point where the bad guy has to let the victim recover just so they can generate […]
Performers in Sunday’s Commonwealth Games are being asked to dress like “regular Melburnians”. Most of them will be wearing the same ghoulish pale faces that they wore to the opening ceremony. That wasn’t makeup, folks. Most people will wear a T-shirt and shorts. Plus a jacket and trakky daks for when it gets cold. And […]
An Virgin airline stewardess caused panic on a turbulence-effected plane by screaming “We’re going to crash, we’re going to crash, we’re going to crash!” Apparently, when the turbulence settled down and the plane was cruising safely, she shrieked “We’re going to live! We’re going to live! AAARRRGGHH!” “We’re suing!” said one couple. “If a stewardess […]
Parramatta Community College has begun offering a Skills with Dating course to teach people how to date. Subjects covered include Flirting, Making Moves, and Getting Pissed Without Throwing Up… People often don’t get a second date because they “put their dating face on”. Perhaps their dating face needs updating. People often don’t get a second […]
In a breakthrough for road lickers, Aussie scientists have successfully converted sugar into what they say is a superior form of bitumen. The roads could be pigmented into an entire rainbow of different colours. Oh dear, I think the scientists have been drinking from their test-tubes again… There may be a worrying increase in roadkill, […]