A Kenyan man has been waiting for five years to get a reply to his offer to Bill Clinton of 40 goats and 20 cows in exchange for Bill’s daughter Chelsea’s hand in marriage. “I’m really hoping he replies soon,” said Godwin Chepkurgor. “These goats and cows are OK, but they’re no Chelsea Clinton.” Bill […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
The British Advertising Standards Authority have ordered drinks companies to hire uglier men for alcohol ads targeting women. Although they haven’t asked for uglier women in ads targeting men. “Come on,” said an ASA spokesman, “who’d want to see a fugly bird in a beer ad? That’s just ridiculous.” “We advise that the man in […]
Democrats leader Lyn Allison has suggested that just as teachers grade students, high school students should in turn mark teachers. A typical report will read “D-minus – seems to know the subject but didn’t hand in one piece of homework”. A typical report will read “D-minus – Hangs around the front acting like a know-it-all”. […]
A new survey shows that, while a majority of Australians support stem cell research and gene therapy, they are opposed to human cloning and social engineering. We prefer anti-social engineering – which explains a lot about the behaviour of engineering students. As well as being opposed to clones, many Australians are also very disturbed by […]
The second part of this story on last night’s Glass House is about this article. P.M. John Howard’s visit to Baghdad was a top secret mission, flying by C-130 Hercules from Kuwait to Baghdad and then by Black Hawk helicopter into the maximum-security Green Zone, flanked at all times by US Army choppers. Howard is […]
Club Pink, a female-only gym, is being taken to court for having a no breastfeeding policy. However, breastfeeding mothers are still welcome down the road at Club Red, the Men’s Gym. In fact, they’re one of the biggest drawcards. Daily shows at 11 and 3. “Come along to our gym,” said Trevor Titsout, owner of […]
A New Zealand rugby semi-final was interrupted by a rogue announcer putting off a member of the Catholic Rugby Club by announcing that the Pope had died in a car crash. Their next shot at goal was interrupted by an announcement that “There is no God” and a penalty was missed when it was announced […]
Police are frisking the families of the Bali Nine for hidden microphones and cameras during police visits. Channel Nine are said to have described a number of the families as “mike mules”. In fact, Mike Munro’s Mike Mules. The family members are going to be strictly forbidden from smuggling in cameras and microphones. Looks like […]
Get yer article here. In a classic Homer Simpson moment, a thief was caught trying to escape a Romanian pie shop after eating so many pies that he got stuck in the window. The thief had had a couple of close shaves previously, barely managing to stagger out of a liquor store he’d knocked over, […]
In a victory for the music industry, the US Supreme Court has ruled against online file-serving services Grokster and Morpheus for encouraging illegal downloading of songs. Regardless of whether or not the musicians themselves agree, the court considers that the online services encourage music piracy. But are file sharers really pirates? After all, the file […]